The Joys of Parenting!!
I am having one of those “How do other moms of large families do this?†moment. Ok, it is a fleeting feeling but really I was wondering what I had gotten myself into for about 15 minutes today. Jeff had some things going on, we had a Jerusha visit so that threw off our groove (will be happy when she is here full time, it will be SO much easier) and Jacob was a brat today. So at naptime/quiet time after I found Jacob out of bed for the millionth time (not today but this is a recurring problem) I felt a little bit overwhelmed. And I asked myself “How would these other moms of large families handle things like this?†More of a train of thought like “I’d like my kids to be quiet for 2 hours and this one is balking the system I wonder what other mothers would recommend.†Type thing.
Then I had to hit myself upside the head and remind myself again that MOST people (even those large families) do not have their plates as full as mine. MOST people with 12 kids have older kids. Someone more responsible to help out. MOST people with 12 kids don’t have 7 kids that have “issues†that are genetic, drug related and neglect induced. MOST people with 12 kids don’t have 7 year olds that act like 4 year olds ALL THE TIME!! MOST people with 12 kids can trust their 8 and 10 year old boys to play outside in the backyard. So anyways……..all that to say that I need to keep reminding myself that this is a season. And yes my job may be more labor intensive than some other people’s but that does not mean it is not manageable.
Generally things go really well here. My kids are fabulous and obedient and joyous….at their level. We only have problems when *I* start expecting more of them (due to my wanting to be lazy) than they are capable of giving. I want to sit back and say “When Jenna was this age she could _____ so Jacob should be able to handle that as well.†And that is not working. I am constantly adjusting my expectations.
This is a HUGE job, this parenting thing. Add to that the fact that I take it far more seriously than MOST parents and you can see where my 15 minutes of eye rolling and huffing and puffing came from. Praise God I have Jeff to pick up the slack when I really need it. I actually woke him from a nap today to ask him to deal with Jacob because I had it “up to hereâ€. Please bear in mind that I did not allow my pity party to last long. What are my options here? The ONLY option I have to be obedient to God is to pull myself up by my boot straps, take a deep breath and jump back in the trenches. I am humbled that God chose me for this job. He thinks I am capable. Jeff thinks I am super woman. My kids think I am Mary Poppins and Nanny 911 all rolled into one. So here I go…with my cheering squad behind me, back to the job I am called to. Hoorah!!!
Comments
Jan. 10, 2006 – Fabulous!!
Posted by Mama2Many (IP Not Logged)
I loved it!!! Addressed some things I needed to hear. Some days it takes me longer to pick my boot straps up but I’m gonna learn to do it much quicker. Thanks for sharing!!
Jan. 10, 2006 – Great Post!!
Posted by iamblessed (IP Not Logged)
Thanks for the reminder/kick. I really needed it. I am also guilty of forgetting that children with difficult pasts don’t always act like “normal” children. Today, after posting a sweet little “aren’t they cute” post on my blog, I had the joy of watching my nearly 13 year old son melt down into a screaming tantrum. Instead of thinking “what a great training opportunity”, I was thinking “why can’t he act his age” and “why is he ruining my day”. I enjoyed reading that I am not the only one who does this. Tomorrow is another day and both my son and I get another chance to get it right. Thank God for new mercies everyday.
Barbara
Jan. 10, 2006 – Untitled Comment
Posted by Rene (IP Not Logged)
Hoorah! :) You’re an inspiration. I often ask myself “How would Katie handle this?”
Jan. 10, 2006 – Untitled Comment
Posted by Tara in MD (IP Not Logged)
You are awesome! Thank you so much for being transparent yet always pointing back to your God given responsibilities. I don’t know how you do it with so many little ones, but I am so glad you share because it is so encouraging to me.
Jan. 10, 2006 – You are so right!
Posted by leastofthese (IP Not Logged)
I have the same thoughts about my little girl. She has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which causes her thinking patterns to be, how should I say, way different than what we usually consider normal!!! I find myself getting so frustrated about having to tell her THE SAME THINGS EVERYDAY!!! But, you are right, it’s not their fault they had a crappy start in life. But it is our responsibility to make sure that this season of their lives is totally saturated in love, nurturing, and gentle teaching.
Also, good for you for getting your hubby up to deal with your little one when you’d had too much! An important thing about being the mom of a large family is knowing your self well enough to know when you need to call in the reinforcements!
Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one who occasionally questions my own sanity!
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