The Greatest Wife on Earth, Part I
Katie is the best wife in the world. Not that you guys aren’t good wives. Maybe I should have said Katie is the best wife in the world for me. I cannot imagine being married to any of the other girls I had met and thought I would have liked to marry. Not to insult them or anything. They were all nice girls. I mean, you guys all know my taste in women obviously must be good, right? Maybe I should just stop talking now before I offend everyone and make myself look… dumb. Or stupid or something like that.
Here is Katie when she was 4 years old. I don’t know who’s idea it was to tie her hair up with a piece of rope. Poor girl! She is still a cutie – even with the rope – and I definitely would have played with her all day if she lived across the street from me when I was a kid.
If I would have known Katie in Kindergarten I am sure we would have snuck off and got married. I was a little obsessed with marriage when I was a kid. I was in Kindergarten when I got married to Michelle. At least I think that was her name. Talk about an ’80’s perm. This girl (Michelle, or whatever her name was) had some super-curl action going on and this was only the ’70’s. I am so glad my marriage to Michelle (or whatever her name was) did not last long. And I am so thankful that Katie waited around another 12 years for me. And I am so blessed that Katie was never married before… so she tells me. Maybe I should shut up now and just show you the pictures.
Aww… how adorable! Where was she all my life? And to think I have said mean things to this girl. I am so ashamed of myself. Really, I am. She is so beautiful!
Now this picture is so Katie. Or should I say it was so Katie. I haven’t seen her laugh like that since or honeymoon! I am sure it is something I did. She doesn’t laugh like that anymore. Maybe she is just cracking up at the lady with the blue eyebrows dressed up as Santa. If Santa wasn’t in this picture I would frame it and put it on my desk. She looks freakily similar to a cousin of mine. hmm. I’m sure it is just me.
December 1981. The big SEVEN. And look at that shirt. Who in the world bought her that shirt? It must have been a joke. Katie – shy? I don’t think so. Who are the characters on that cake? Are they the Seven Dwarfs? Where is Snow White? I love those spirally candles; I always had to have the plain ones. I was so neglected. How come I never got spirally candles? Dad? And I am still trying to figure out if that person behind her is a girl or a boy. Let’s say she is a girl. Either way – I bet she was very nice. It is not her fault her parents were hippies and were smoking too much the day they cut her hair. Poor girl… if you are reading this, shoot me an email and I will send you a gift card to Cost Cutters. I really do feel for you – I think I may have had a similar haircut at one time. Not for the same reasons you had yours, of course.
Well, that’s all for now. I really must go. So, we covered up to 1981. Remember those ’80’s perms? Be sure to catch us next time on The Greatest Wife on Earth, Part II.
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