Boot Camp
The question was asked on Jeff’s message board about whether we had done boot camp and what it looked like in our home. Bootcamp is an emergency maneuver to quickly bring your kids under control. When you’ve realized that things just aren’t right you can use boot camp to “reboot” your disciplinary measures. Here I am trying to give the best representation of what boot camp looks/looked like in our home. If you have questions please ask.
First thing I do is sit the little knee biters down and give them a good talking to. Look at how pleased they are to be the objects of my attention. Their feelings are about to change. I begin my lecture:
“Lookie here you heathens. I’ve had about enough of this bad behavior. I’m just not going to tolerate it anymore. I’ve been to lax in my parenting and I’ve let you get away with this crummy behavior for far too long. Things are going to change. We are going to boot camp.”
And when they all look adequately repentant we begin. 
I go about my business. Let’s pretend that today I need to clean the bathroom. In reality, I never clean this bathroom because it is the kids’ bathroom and well, I have big kids for that. Besides, I have to clean up after Jeff and that is plenty of people to clean up after. But let’s pretend that I only had these 5 little kids. What a nightmare. I am getting the sweats just thinking about it. Jeeeeennnaaaa!!!
It’s time to clean so I direct my little children to do my bidding because working kids are happy kids. “Josiah, please come clean the toilet.” Notice the spoon in my hand. I’ll tell you, I wasn’t stirring soup in that bathroom. Josiah is happy to comply…hmmm…I think we’ve done this before.
Here he is. He’s brilliant and talented and oh yes, obedient. You can’t see his face but he was kinda giggling in this picture. Apparently the whole pretend boot camp is very amusing to all involved. I direct his cleaning efforts, correcting when necessary and encouraging the rest of the time. It takes a long time for a 6yo boy to clean a toilet properly and that’s great. It gives the other children lots of time to sit and practice being still and quiet. Being still and quiet is a very important lesson to learn. You can get far in life on just still and quiet.
Uh oh, while Josiah was dutifully attending to his cleaning I see a little trouble in the hallway. Lina has chosen to crawl herself away from the wall and engage in some unsanctioned activity. Since this is all pretend anyway you can just imagine what she did that was so naughty. She is reprimanded and gets a little reminder to her backside that sitting and being quiet will benefit her greatly. (Aren’t the other kids just miserable brats laughing at Lina’s plight?)
I send her back to her place on the wall with instructions like “Now you go sit over there and do not move again. If you choose to move or talk I *will* spank you again. I promise.” And I never lie to my kids. She is giggling. What is that all about? Can’t I get any respect here?
After the bathroom is clean and each child has taken their turn cleaning some part of the bathroom and giving me an A+, 100% job we take a little break in the living room. I allow the children to get 3 toys each.
Now look at this chaos. What are these children thinking. Why is Josiah assaulting Joshua with a kaleidoscope and what makes him think I can’t see him? I can, little boy. You’ll get your due.
Yep, here it is. This is the reward for bonking your brother. I bet you’ll think twice about that next time. Geesh!! These kids never take me seriously!!
Then poor Josiah is separated from his siblings because, you see, physical assault is not to be tolerated. I will not allow someone else to be annoyed, harassed or in any other way bugged by an unruly sibling. And everyone else is managing to be well behaved so I see no reason to seclude everyone. I love that pouty face. That’s what I’m talking about!!! Finally someone is suitably upset.
Sometimes the behavior is so poor that I have no desire to deal with the child’s constant misbehavior. In that case I’ll contain a child until I have the time and energy to deal with them. I don’t generally use corner time as a punishment and I never set the timer. It is more of a cooling off period for him and I until we are both feeling like coming to a mutual understanding. The trusty spoon is by my side incase the offender decides that the corner doesn’t suit him. I can convince him otherwise.
Bootcamp is a stop gap measure that is not to be used forever. It is a great spring board to a tomato staking lifestyle because you can jump right in and get used to having the little urchins around all the time. Bootcamp gives you permission to focus all of your attention on your children and their behavior so you can eradicate some of the more glaring problems. Eventually you will be able to release children for longer periods of time and they, knowing that you are now a fair and consistent parent, will be able to play quite happily in the same room without your constant direction.
When you begin to bootcamp you will feel like you do nothing but watch and correct and it seems that your children can do no right. They can’t. Because you’ve never taught them. Now you are taking the time to teach then the right way to behave and showing them that you *care* if they follow your standards. When you are committed to their good behavior they will be too.
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I LOVE IT!!!
Shannon (dh) and I were just talking that we need a little bootcamp session to remind our children what is supposed to be the norm around here…. we have fallen away a bit.
Thanks for the reminder!
And ALL your kids are just too stinking cute!
Love,
Chas
I love, love, love your bootcamp pictures! A ‘pretend bootcamp’ surely would draw smiles and giggles around here, too. Thanks for a basic primer for those new to the RGT lifestyle!
“When you are committed to their good behavior they will be too.”
Perfectly stated–I think that’s the heart of it!
The smirks and giggles were adorable! Made me giggle, too. :)
My mom wanted me to see this post, and I think it’s hiliarous!!! And you are so right, ‘pretend’ bootcamp around our house would be funny. I think my mom might use it (the real thing) around our house, and I hope it might be as fun as it is pretend.
Thank you for sharing this Katie. I never had a name for what we do when we bring new children into the house, but it is definitely the same thing you do here. We’ve even had to go backwards with one. From now on I’ll call it boot camp. THANKS!
Thanks for sharing about boot camp. We need to do that here. Does it work better to do boot camp with all the kids at once or can you just focus on one child at a time? I have started boot camp several times but I find it so exhausting that I usually give up after a day or two.
Start with everyone at first. You will be surprised by all the things you’ve missed. Even the good ones are naughtier than you would guess. Then as you become assured that some children are capable of managing themselves you can release them and keep the others. :) And you can’t give up after a day or two. That’s when it just starts getting easier. 24 hours is the magic number. If you can be consistent for 24 hours things start to ease up.
-Katie
Oh, man! You are a hilarious blogger. Ok, showed this to my kiddos. They think you are funny too, but they don’t think bootcamp sounds funny (at least not the real bootcamp). I’ve warned them that 2 wks and 2 days til Baby is PLENTY of time for bootcamp.
I’ll be praying and chatting with dh about the need.
Thank you for showing me what it really looks like.
A couple of Qs:
How old is Jenna? (my eldest thinks the whole “Jennnnnnaaa!” line was great!)
Is Jenna Tomato Staked?
Is there really never a time when kids are playing in another room alone?
I’m reconsidering it (RGT)… but only half heartedly, since I”m truly looking forward to snuggling alone with baby in my room for days. I just love newborns and that fleeting time.
Thanks again for posting this!
GfG,
Jenna is 12yo and 12yo are so much help!!! Jenna is *not* TS in the legalistic way but I do expect her to spend her waking hours with the family and not holed up in her room. :) I do let those I can trust play in their room but there are only a couple that can manage it. Even those kids generally stay out with us because it is more fun out here.
-Katie
This is SO going to happen at my house and soon and having these pictures (set up as they were :) ) and the blow by blow really did help me picture how to run this thing.
THANKS
Thanks for the insight Katie!!! :) I am trying to understand and get a grip on tomato staking….. I love this post….We may need that around here…. :)
Jonah does a poor imitation of repentant. LOL
Hi Katie,
This is great! lol. What cute photos. Question for you: Would you come over to my blog and leave the URL to Jenna’s blog, if she still has one? The link in your About Us section goes to someone else. My girls want to say hello to Jenna. Thank you ~
Sally
You are a brave blogger!
I have been tightening the reigns a bit around here with my youngest two, not quite boot camp level, but staying much more involved and in tune with every action and reaction… they’re starting to get the picture, but they still have a ways to go…
Enjoy them,
ali
I love it! The kids are too cute, and I appreciate you (and the kids) taking the time to give us a play-by-play. Visuals help!
Have a great day!
~Gretchen
Thanks Katie! I can’t wait to start! The pictures were helpful for this visionary. I feel very encouraged that I can do this.
Thanks!
You got my day off with a chuckle, Katie. Thanks!!!
Hi! I just found your blog and I am so happy I did. Yesterday morning I was searching on the net for a blogger who could explain what boot camp looks like in their family. I could not find what I was looking for, but last night I found you just reading about families with lots of kids. I read you had adopted, so I clicked on the link. I am excited to read more about your beautiful family. Thanks for sharing.
PS I am an adoptive mom of one, praying to be a mom of many.
Pleased to meet you and glad you found us.
-Katie
thanks for the chuckle – I wonder if you’ll get some back lash on this one? I can just imagine how this one could tie your critics up in knots sputtering indignation along the way!
That’s what comment moderation is all about. ;)
-Katie
Thanks Katie for the boot camp idea. Sent for the RGT book. I briefly attempted it when our family was much smaller..need to revisit this with the expansion.
“little knee bitters” is hysterical!
Thanks for the comment Necole. ;)
-Katie
Too funny. But it isn’t that funny for those of us who DO have a handful of single digits! :)
Your day will come. :)
-Katie
Thanks for posting this. I finally get why my blessings are SO good in public but not so much when at home. Duh! It’s because in when we are out I am with them all the time. I will be discussing this with my hubby. How do you deal with extended family situations where the cousins “go off and play”?
This is great! Thanks for sharing!
Mother of blessings, you bring toys for yours and keep them with you! :)
VERY funny…and yep that’s what it looks like here…only there are only 3. And yep…I was thinkin…UH OH, that’s gonna get a letter!. PTL for comment moderating, eh?
Um, how come you talk to Ginger and not me…is she better than me??? Huh?
I have been reading your blog for a while now and love your sense of humor and how you parent your kids. They are blessed to have you as their mom.
As a “younger” mom, I appreciate the moms who are further down the road than I am, sharing their wisdom.
We just got in a day of boot camp on Monday, in between times with grandparents. It was much-needed, and even one day helped. Now we’re in the middle of another visit, but I anticipate more boot camp coming soon. I was encouraged by how well it worked and by this great post of yours!
Oh, my gravy! You had me laughing out loud there! The little smiles were just to funny. :-) Even with just one little Peanut as of yet, I have to do a baby boot camp every once in awhile to quell the naughtiness.
You’re family looks fabulous!
Katie,
This totally cracks me up! After our dinner at your house a while back we spent the whole drive home discussing our next two weeks in “boot camp”. For 2 WEEKS we never opened a formal workbook, we did not visit the library, P.E. or anything except church. I sat by the children during every playtime activity and they worked sweetly by me or with me when I couldn’t be playing. We did the “sit down here for 30 min with this one toy, don’t talk, get up or else… (with a loving smile of course).” When we weren’t in a training situation, we provided one.
We are not around well behaved children very often so mine always looked so wonderful. They really do have good hearts which made boot camp much easier and fun at times. [the girls really loved the sessions that involved teaching Judah, who just turned one, not to take toys away from others:)] Well, I could go on and on but just so you know… I had never even heard of this “boot camp” thing or “tomato staking” but just being around your family showed us that we needed to tighten up the reins.
Thanks