Spelling IS Important!!
April 24, 2008
Written by: Katie
The first thing I need to address is all of the comments about how Jeff “attacked” this 12 year old boy. Jeff very calmly asked him to stop contacting our kids. He gave the reason why. Would you have preferred we just ignore him and the kid can go through life wondering why he has trouble finding and keeping a job? His parents certainly are not encouraging him to excel. Maybe one of his future employers will be kind enough to tell him that they let him go because of his horrible work ethic and lackadaisical (I used spell check for that one) attitude instead of allowing him to think that the world is just out to get him. Or maybe he’ll land a government job and never have to worry about being fired or aspiring for more.
My kids KNOW this kid in real life. They have met him on several occasions and my kids have never been impressed. He has three older siblings that have the same lazy attitude that he does. This all comes down to desire and commitment. The problem is not the spelling alone. It is that the kid doesn’t CARE that he is a poor speller. He and his 3 older siblings all have blogs and they all write things like “I know I spelled that wrong.” or “However that is spelled.” and have words on their blogs that they admit not knowing the meaning of. I just don’t get it. Why is this acceptable? Why have Americans lowered their standards?
Now about my kids and what we expect from them. Has everyone forgotten that 7 of my kids are drug exposed and at least 3 exhibit symptoms of alcohol exposure prior to birth. Do you really think that these kids are excellent in the language arts? One of my children can hardly put together 3 sentences correctly when speaking. You can imagine how that translates into written communication. I am teaching my kids very basic skills to help them in their journey toward a successful adulthood. One of the very best things a poor speller can utilize is spell check. The next is to ask for help when you don’t know the answer. Those attributes are ADMIRABLE
The written language is important. Whether you like it or not your potential employer will be “judging” you by how well you express yourself. It’s a fact. When a potential customer for your business receives a quote for a job from your business it needs to be well written. If your future customer gets a quote from your competitor that is the same price but better written who will get the job?
On the other hand, apparently we are living in an age where making excuses for yourself is more comfortable than trying to be better. My school day would be so much easier if instead of spending 30 minutes helping my children edit and correct their blog entries I spent that time having them repeat “I am incapable of spelling correctly because I am drug exposed.” or “I can not do better because I have learning disabilities.”
And this boy is TWELVE. Back in biblical times that was almost a man. Heck, I don’t know how most families handle that but in my home we are already grooming my boys for man’s work. Jeff had a conversation with John about this yesterday. Why do we expect our kids to remain children until they are THIRTY?
Someone pointed out to me that I spelled buffoon wrong. Hey thanks. I certainly did not take that as an “attack” and you know what, I’ll not spell that wrong again. And if I do type it again and I’m not sure of the spelling I have the correct spelling forever immortalized on my blog so I CAN spell it correctly if I choose to. That is what my kids do. Research!!
Now about those public school kids. I didn’t determine that they were public schooled BECAUSE they had slushies in their hands. I didn’t ASSUME they were public schooled because they were ill-mannered. I KNEW they were public schooled due to their “Gotta look out for myself.” behavior and the fact that their mother mentioned something about their SCHOOL!! Give me some credit people!!
JM asked:
How did you know they were PS kids? Even if they were, what does that have to do with their manners? It’s really the parent’s role to teach these things…not the school’s. When I see children like this, I assume that the parents probably aren’t parenting…or at least not well.
Not to beat a dead horse but it needs saying again. It is very difficult to teach your kids something contrary to what they are learning for 6-8 hours in the institution we call school.
Amy said:
Since I appreciate your honesty, I will give you the same.
1) I think you are making a mistake having a conversation about “backward public school kids.” If someone saw one of your children misbehaving, would you want them to turn it into a discussion of “backward homeschooled kids?” Besides, as many have also asked, how did you even know they were public schooled? Why not discuss why the behavior was rude and leave school out of it?
2) If your children grow up thinking all public schooled people are in some way beneath them, how does that benefit your children?
3) I do think it was rude to have Jenna tell the boy she couldn’t read his blog because of spelling. If you don’t think reading the blog benefits her, fine. Tell her not to read it anymore. You are not HIS parent or teacher. You have no authority over this boy and it truly ISN’T your place to embarrass him over his spelling (especially publically through the chat box) unless he asks your opinion.
4) Telling someone you cannot talk to him because of his spelling does not seem like showing the love of Christ (my opinion, of course.
5) I have seen ATROCIOUS “research papers” by some homeschoolers, with spelling almost as bad as that boy’s. In fact, it has caused me to reconsider my opinion on regulations for homeschoolers.
6) To be a nit picky former English teacher, there are technically two punctuation/grammar errors in the message Jenna sent :)
1) The reason I can not leave the school part out of the discussion is because the two seem to go hand in hand a lot of the time.
2) You used the word “beneath”, not I.
3) The goal was not to embarrass but to explain. And her note was sent via private message.
4) I disagree.
5) I agree that some homeschoolers can and do have horrible language arts skills. That was the whole point of the post. If this family chooses not to educate their children it makes homeschoolers look bad and society will want to start regulating us. Thankfully the standardized tests show the majority of homeschool families do take education seriously.
6) That is your prerogative to be nit-picky. I didn’t think my concern about this boy’s language arts skills was being “picky” but rather expecting the bare minimum.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
As usual, I think this is well-written and well-presented and I agree! Some of my children are NOT good spellers and I am constantly teaching them in that area, but I would certainly NOT allow them to just say, “Oh well, I am not good at that!”
I have two children on the Autism spectrum and I do not EVER allow them to use that as an excuse! To the contrary, it means that they have to work harder because the goal is still skillful excellence to the glory of God.
Now, with that said, I am not trying to be critical or mean in anyway, but as a wife of a Navy man (read: government employee) I was a little saddened by one phrase:
“Or maybe he’ll land a government job and never have to worry about being fired or aspiring for more.”
I’d like to say that my husband has worked very hard and is very good at what he does. He started off as an E2 or E3 (enlisted ranks) and has worked his way up to becoming an officer. He is now a Lt. Commander and has worked very hard to improve in every area of his life both at work and at home.
He is willing to give his life for his country or for his family at a moment’s notice and I love him with all of my heart!
I am sure you did not in anyway mean to criticize and I probably took it wrong, but it did make me cringe a bit whenI read that one phrase.
I only bring it up because you have many loyal readers and I would like to clarify that most government employees that I have met love our country and work very hard for (in our case) not enough pay and are men of honor and excellence!
Christina Brown
Proud of my Navy Man!
April 24th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I wholeheartedly agree that learning how to write properly is critical in life. I remember a blog entry of yours ages ago in which John (I think) was having trouble blogging because of his disabilities and he couldn’t remember how to open Word to use spell check. You could have just jumped on the “oh he can’t because of his brain damage” bandwagon, but instead you continued to patiently encourage him. You did not lower your standards because of his lack of ability. Children in general, even children with various disabilities, can do amazing things if you raise your standard of expectation instead of lowering it to “their level”. Just yesterday I met a boy with Downs Syndrome, that if not for his facial features and short attention span I would have never known was a disabled child. He spoke maturely and very well at only age 10. His mother did not treat him differently than anyone else. Our children only know they are different if we tell them.
As far as later in life, I have on more than one occasion commented to my husband about not patronizing a business because of poor advertising skills in the form of gaudy layout or rampant misspellings. If you do not use spelling and grammar in a professional manner, you will not attract high end clients or even middle class ones for that matter. Do I misuse words and misspell sometimes? Sure! If I am handing out something in an official capacity I would use much more attention to detail.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Christina,
I wouldn’t be offended. I worked for the Federal government for 8 years and the state government for almost 3 years.
You can’t just get fired when you have a government job. I am sure your husband can name off many people in the Navy that just do the bare minimum.
Katie was not saying that all people with government jobs are lazy.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I am sorry. No matter how you try to defend yourself, you were wrong. You asked an opinion and almost every person, with the exception of a few, told you your treatment of the boy and the handling of the situation were inappropriate.
So because the majority said they would do something different I am supposed to change my stance? Tsk, tsk, don’t you know me better than that by now? I’d rather do what I feel is right instead of what is most popular. If that were the case I’d send my kids to school, vaccinate and give antibiotics for every little sniffle. Just like the majority of Americans.
You didn’t even ACKNOWLEDGE that you may have been too harsh. As usual, everyone else is 100 percent wrong and you are 100 percent right. Is there EVER a situation in which you MAY have or may in the future make a mistake? Do you ever take even a minute to consider anyone else’s opinion or are you so sure you are always right that you don’t even bother to take the time to consider that you may have made a mistake?
I don’t feel I was harsh. That is why I didn’t acknowledge that I may have been too harsh. I have been wrong before. I was SO wrong when I allowed them to remove Jillian’s lung. I was VERY wrong when I didn’t eat better this pregnancy. I was STUPID wrong when I allowed the nurses to poke Jodi TWICE in the hand when I knew they could not find a vein there. I DO read everyone’s posts and I consider what each one has said. Ginger was right in that we probably just encouraged the little punk to PM all the more by pointing out his laziness. In the future I will keep that in mind. Perhaps if you had something useful to contribute I might find something to contemplate. Hmmmmm.
Someone else stated it so well… if you are trying to teach your children to discriminate against people with bad spelling, who don’t homeschool, who haven’t survived cancer, etc… and ON AND ON… you are doing a SUPER job. I am just not sure where the Christian treatment of others is being taught…
Ya, I do teach them to “discriminate” against the lazy and apathetic. That is good business and life skills. -Katie
April 24th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
And Jeff… you don’t even work! How do you have the right to call government employees lazy? Seriously… at least they HAVE a job and don’t rely on the money the government gives them for their kids to support themselves so they don’t HAVE to work.
Oh please. First off, he didn’t call anyone lazy. Someone needs to work on their reading comprehension. And Jeff does work. DUH!!
April 24th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Where to begin?! Katie, you really caught a lot of flak for that one! I love reading your blog. You never come across to me as thinking you are superior. That said, I don’t always agree with you. I don’t agree that you should have left the park when the ill mannered PS children invaded your space and your family. I have no problem politely asking children to remove themselves from my person. I have no problem asking the mother to remove her children from my person if the child does not listen. If the parent does not respond THEN I would go home, making it abundantly clear to EVERYONE in the park what the problem was by way of informing my children that we do not hang out where bad manners are tolerated and encouraged.
As for the blog post, Yes! Yes! Yes! Spelling does count. Grammar makes a man. Who wants to talk such an unedjumacated oaf to or try to read such painfully atrocious writing? I currently have my children in PS and one in DC one day a week. You are right. What they see at school is mirrored in the way they try to behave at home.
I am fortunate with the DC I use. It is at a Lutheran Church (not my denomination- but I don’t have a problem with that as long as my child gets fed the truth while he is there.) He is well loved and cared for while he is there.
NOW, having said all of that, we are in the process of reversing the direction we swim in the cultural stream. Next year we are bringing our eldest home from PS. I cannot abide the “den of sin” that is middle school.
The year after that we will bring the second home. He is on the autistic spectrum and I know beyond a doubt that he belongs home. Home where he will be expected to give his best and not written off as the “special need boy”. We struggle against that in PS. I have flat out told the school that he will remain in the mainstream classes and will not be tucked away in the Special Services department. Luckily for me, we are surrounded by Christian teachers and have a good working relatioship with our school.
The next year we will bring our girls home. Doughnut will never go.
Why not all at once? I have been struggling physically/ emotionally/ mentally since the birth of Doughnut and I am just getting back on top of my health. I need to see that I am capable before I plunge in head first.
As for the Blog, I would have just told my child not to read any more and to tell her/him to cut the relationship off. I do not feel the need to tell people that I decide not to associate with why I am cutting them off. If it is better for me, I just do it. I have in the past, and I will in the future. Jeff was totally right to protect his children from unwanted influence!
April 24th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Christina,
Exactly what Jeff said. Government jobs are just very secure in that it is very hard to get fired. You are not REQUIRED to work at a certain level to maintain your position in the company. :)
April 24th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I’m afraid I have to bid this blog goodbye. The Bible gives my reasons:
–Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? —Matthew 7.1-5
–Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
–A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.
Proverbs 29:23
I’ve really enjoyed reading about your family’s adventures, but I can’t justify visiting a site that can be so downright condescending and ignorantly judgemental. As sinners, we have no room to judge, and we all are sinners. Thank goodness for Jesus’ great sacrifice and the grace and love that comes only from God, because without it, I’d be lost. I’ll continue to pray for your family and lovely children, because I do think that you truly have a wonderful family.
Prayers and Peace.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Dear Jeff and Katie,
Thank-you for promptly and kindly addressing my concern. I am sorry that someone else took my concern and used it as another dart to fire at you. That was certainly not my intent. Actually, quite the opposite. I just wanted clarification.
I see your point, but would like to add that in most cases it is important (at least in my husband’s field) for him to continuously be learning and improving in order to advance. He is encouraged and even commanded to do so! Those who do not get “left behind” and even demoted or in some cases FIRED! (At least in HIS field!)
I love reading your blog and I know that I could learn many, many things from you. That is why I enjoy blogging. I feel that I can share things from my experience while learning from others! Thanks for the time you take to share your experiences with US! :)
Lovingly and Prayerfully,
Christina Brown
April 24th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Katie,
Ya know… I probably would have handled the misspelling, disrespectful blogger situation in a different way…. but I don’t think you handled it in a bad way.
I think there’s some serious over-reacting going on. And it boggles my mind that readers (’guests in your home’) feel so comfortable being so critical of you. I wonder if they were in your home would they be so blunt?
:-)
April 24th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Dana, I wonder at how “judgemental” they are of me. You feel the Christian love?
April 24th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I am also insulted by the “government job” comment - that is a stereotype and is no more true with government than with any other job. People who work in all levels of government are providing a service for the public (and not just those on welfare but businesses and other “self-sufficient” individuals!)
You disagree that it is difficult for a gov’t agency to fire a non compliant employee? When Jeff was in the Air Force for 7 years and an employee of the state of AZ for 3 years he saw many many people who would have been canned if they had worked for a private business. He also has worked for non gov’t agencies and it appears that the gov’t has it’s hands tied by bureaucratic paperwork.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
So, can we have the link to this kid and his three older siblings blogs so we can witness their lazy attitude ourselves?
Now Sherry, that would be uncouth and tacky to post those on a public forum like this. But if you emailed me…. ;)
You as parents have every right to determine who your children communicate with. :)
April 24th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Thanks for the clarification that you know this family IRL. It sounded like some random kid was trying to be cool on his blog and in his comments to your children. I wouldn’t really want mine reading it either. And I wouldn’t even allow private messages to begin with. But where I thought it was taken too far was the public reprimand in the shout box.
I didn’t/don’t think you did anything wrong but I can still see how the father could have taken offense to it and thought you were trying to go over his head to deal with his child. If it were my child I would have wanted you to come to me after he responded to your child to let me deal with the snotty attitude and the lack of initiative. But since you already know the father doesn’t give a hoot, my opinion pretty much flies out the window. (Not that it matters much to begin with. lol)
If I would have had the whole story I’d have had a different initial reaction. Maybe we need more background sometimes. :)
April 24th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Have you ever actually been wrong when someone OTHER than you or Jeff pointed it out? That’s what inquiring minds really want to know. :)
The difference here is that most of us aren’t devoting whole blog entries to the stupidity of letting Doctors unnecessarily remove your daughter’s lung. Or a post on how Jodi’s illness was probably your fault. And how we’d never ever be as dumb as you in that situation. Why not? Because it’s in poor taste, hurtful, prideful and full of assumptions about our own abilities in the future. Whereas you would have no problem doing such posts…and have done on many occasions on a variety of topics and people!
But….really we are digressing. I’ve been around you long enough online to know that this is likely not to change. Everyone reading here really should already know that. So, it is kind of humorous all the outrage that swells up when the same thing happens over and over. I find your blog/life interesting, and so I read. I have gained info from you on nutrition and special needs. I usually speak up when I disagree with you….however fruitless it is. But so far, you haven’t held it against me….which I do appreciate, BTW. :)
Tarah, I like people with opinions, even if they differ from mine. And I try very hard not to post on topics that would make assumptions about my abilities in the future. I don’t have a crystal ball. I will post about things I have done and experienced already. :) -Katie
April 24th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Katie,
Did you and Jeff attend public school? If so, how did you get to be so well adjusted, intellegent, non-judgemental and just all around perfect? I’m truly not trying to be mean, just wondering how you are the only exceptions to your beliefs about public school.
Yes we both did. We never said we are perfect. And we are not the exceptions. Public school held us back in MANY ways.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I don’t want to get too edgy with people I don’t know in real life (Hi Dana) but I do want to point out some things.
1. You have all said your opion’s and that is good.
2. Ma’m, I do admit that they are partly right. You were a bit harsh on the boy, but I do also admit that he should work on his spelling and that his parents probably aren’t very good parents to him.
3. Aren’t you all supposed to be friends?!?!?!?!
4. Some of you are being unfair!! You should think about it as if it were happening to your kids (if you have any) and what if this boy openly mistreated you and disrespected you?!?!?! I am sad. Can’t you just disagree, say why, all meet in the middle and then kiss and make up?
5. Please try and see this from each other’s point of view!! I think that if you just try and see why everyone else thinks what they think (a lot of thinks) and then fix your problems?!?!?
6. Behave!!! This is your friends blog and it is JUST like her house!!!! Please treat like God would want you to.
7. APPLY THIS SITUATION TO THE BIBLE!!!!!! ALWAYS APPLY IT TO THE BIBLE!!! NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO THE BIBLE ON THIS ARE YOU?!?!?!?! GO TO THE BIBLE AND USE IT WISELY!!!!!!
8. I hope that you will get this straightened out quickly, it is not worth losing a friend over a rude boy who is disrespecting you or others. I don’t want to see you fighting.
In God!!
April 24th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Public school today is also VERY different than it was when we were in school! It’s changed just since No Child Left Behind came into being!
April 24th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
No Katie, I know you would never change your stance. You purposely put up things that you know will anger and upset people just so they comment and then you can belittle them.
ANd I would like to comment on this…
7. APPLY THIS SITUATION TO THE BIBLE!!!!!! ALWAYS APPLY IT TO THE BIBLE!!! NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO THE BIBLE ON THIS ARE YOU?!?!?!?! GO TO THE BIBLE AND USE IT WISELY!!!!!!
How are you applying any situation in your life to the Bible? You call others names, belittle them, make fun of other people, teach your children to be judgemental and intolerant of others, put down ANYONE who does not believe and do EXACTLY what you believe is right, never consider that you may be wrong and someone else may be right, never apologize for your rudeness to anyone, put down parents of very ill children that don’t feed them exactly as YOU see fit, and I could go on and on… where is the Christianity in your home? You call yourselves a “Christian” family and yet you couldn’t be farther away in your goal of being called “Christians” because if you read the Bible, your judgemental, intolerant ways are completely opposite of what the Bible teaches. You don’t reach out to help others learn to see your “perfect” ways by putting them down. How about taking some of your nasty energy and putting it into taking your kids to a soup kitchen to work and see how fortunate they are? Or maybe having them tutor children who cannot read and write as well as your kids? Or mowing lawns and raking leaves for elderly people? Or witnessing to the neighbors by inviting them to your house for positive and family-centered fun activities that will encourage them in Christianity instead of turning them away because they aren’t as “Good” as your kids, at least in your mind?
**cough cough** I don’t blog everything.
All you do is complain and complain and put down anyone who doesn’t parent and teach as YOU see right. Jesus was not judgemental, he never turned people away, and he never considered himself to be better than anyone else. How about something positive for a change? How about treating others as you want treated yourselves?
Are you crazy? Most of my posts are not positive? I think I’m a very happy person.
Do you want people to post entire posts that blame you for Jillian’s cancer or Jodi’s illness? That would be ABSURD. You are NOT at fault for those things. Period. No one would be that ignorant anyway, at least I would hope. People showed and still show you compassion for Jillian and the latest illness with Jodi… and I hope you never have to deal with anyone that would treat you with anything less than TOTAL respect and compassion. Yet, you don’t show that same respect and compassion for others. That is just sad. With all of the outpouring of love and prayer for Jillian when she was ill, you would think you would have learned that same love and compassion for others. Yet it doesn’t seem to have changed you at all. You are still as bitter and judgemental as ever.
You are wrong if you think we are not judged for the way we handle medical care in our home. I don’t blog everything, you know. I think my level of love and compassion out measures yours. Not that you set the standard I strive to achieve.
I am not sure what happened to you in your life that made you so cold and bitter, but I pray that God will eventually open your heart and help you heal so you can teach your children love and compassion for others instead of intolerance and judgement. And I honestly mean that… you frustrate and anger me with your attitude and that makes me as bad as you and I really need to just pray for you instead.
Jen, I think we have been here before. Deja vu, man. Do you only read the posts that work you to a frazzle?
April 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
ps… Ya, I do teach them to “discriminate” against the lazy and apathetic. That is good business and life skills. -Katie
First of all, “ya” is slang.
Second, THOSE ARE good business and life skills… that is a compound predicate which means you need to use the plural subject and verb.
Therefore, I am thinking your kids should be removed from your care and homeschooled by someone who knows proper grammar and doesn’t use slang?
I mean, after all, you must be pretty apathetic to use slang AND incorrect grammar all in one sentence.
Jen, If it bothers you feel free to stop reading. Ha!! -Katie
April 24th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Well, Jen, that comment sure seethed love and compassion that you tout as so important. If you knew her in real life you would find her to be very loving and compassionate and quite hospitable. I don’t really think it’s so unreasonable to expect people to make their children have manners and behave. Her kids are not perfect and neither are mine. The difference is that when they misbehave we care enough to put a stop to the behavior, so it is irritating when other parents don’t show the same level of concern about their own kids. Everyone took these posts somehow as personal attacks on them. Even if I had my own kids in public school I would not take either of these posts personally. My educational method is my own and I couldn’t care one iota what others think of my personal decisions for my family. I wish everyone had strong enough convictions to actually practice what they preach.
April 24th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I think someone needs to take a step away from the computer.
BTW, Katie … my husband would totally agree with you about gov’t employees and he IS one! It’s hard to get fired!
April 24th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
LOL, just reading that makes me laugh. It’s not HIM that should be fired, it’s “those other guys” who do nothing. No, my husband’s a hard worker. :)
April 24th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
May I make a request for a group hug?!???!?!? :-) Here’s mine:
o
( )
April 24th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Bravo Katie, bravo!! I agree with everything you said and I really appreciate the way you’re responding to the comments here. It’s interesting how much you’re getting your hand slapped for being “rude”, yet these people doing the slapping are about as rude as they can possibly be…nope, not feeling much Christian love there.
Can I just say THANK YOU for raising your sons to be real men? Praise the Lord, I am glad to hear that someone is! You make an excellent point about kids remaining kids until they’re 30. I am in my late 20’s and I can tell you that this is a serious problem! Having no work ethic is a major problem too.
I was educated in public school and I know I was held back in many ways too. I have never considered sending my own kids to public school. Never!! Katie, your blog just keeps me encouraged to pursue homeschooling. Thanks!
April 25th, 2008 at 2:42 am
I have not been able to comment the last few days. You have received
some critical comments. Interesting to hear the views.
As far as the kid with the “pop culture” spelling this does not seem as bad as the disrespect to “Jiffy”. It is also disturbing to hear the father took is poorly. Is there a way for Jeff to approach the father and give his point?
I too attended PS and left HS with test scores of 5th grade reading, English and math. I have made many attempts prior to “spell check” to use a dictionary. Reading and writing as much as I could. Of course when I was able to read I attended college. I did find out I had some “learning challenges”. I try not to let it handicap me and here I am..
I am sure there are some who may read my comments or blog and cringe at my grammar. I do make attempts as well as teaching my special needs kiddos using as many resources as possible.
You have not asked me to stop commenting because of my grammar…but when it comes to our kids we can not over look the attitudes of their peers. I sense it is more then spelling.
On the other hand, with our kiddos who pick up quite a bit of the unacceptable (mine pick up phrases), you would not want them to believe “waz sup” is a correct form of greeting.
I appreciate you writing your points. I am encouraged. The views cause me to think.
I’ve never had a problem with your comments or your blog. :) And you are so right about picking up the unacceptable. Jeff gave the phrase “You have BO.” to John the other day. Not that he said it to John just John heard him say it. Now, like a parrot, John repeats that many many many times a day. Along with the neighbor boy’s “sweet” and Jacob’s “Shucks” and I won’t tell you the more inappropriate words that we have had to oust from his vocabulary after being exposed to them ONCE!! Keep on keeping on!! -Katie
April 25th, 2008 at 3:30 am
Jen, If it bothers you feel free to stop reading. Ha!! -Katie
I am not concerned about ME reading. I could personally care less about your grammar. I am just pointing out that you make such a HUGE issue about your kids not being around apathetic and lazy people that have poor grammar and spelling skills, yet YOU yourself just proved to be one of them.
So, in YOUR OWN view of parenting, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to be around your own children…
Apathy is different than an oversight. Do you not know the difference? I’m not seeking perfection from anyone, just effort.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:51 am
Jen, I think we have been here before. Deja vu, man. Do you only read the posts that work you to a frazzle?
No I stopped reading for a time then came back to check on Jillian. I am SO happy that she is doing so well. What an amazing miracle and I am so excited to see that she is doing well. Plus, you have GREAT family stories sometimes about your kids and nutrition, even though I don’t always agree it is always interesting to see another perspective.
But the tone of your posts seem to be overwhelmingly negative towards OTHERS. You may be happy, but you are still rude and intolerant of anyone who does not share the exact same beliefs as you. I never said YOU personally weren’t happy. I think you are VERY happy treating others as second class citizens whle you sit on your imaginery throne.
And as if to prove it to the world, you spend so much time complaining on your blog about other people who don’t measure up to your standards. The doctors, the nurses, the neighbors who PS, the neighbors at your new property, people who spell incorrectly, people who drink Sonic slushes and don’t behave in your opinion to your standards, anyone who PS their kids, anyone who HS differently than you, anyone who doesn’t feed their kids like you do, anyone who has a child with cancer who doesn’t listen to YOU instead of their doctors about what to feed their child and what vitamins to give, your own adopted children, and the list goes on forever… THAT is what bothers me and a lot of other people, based on a lot of the comments I have read both this time and on previous posts.
I want to address this paragraph specifically. Which part of my commentary on the doctors and nurses bothered you so much? Would you have been happier if I had not addressed the fear mongering and poor care that happens in hospitals? Would you like my blog entries better if I only told the happy part of the story? I thought it was a good idea to share these stories so that other families that might find themselves in the same position will be prepared and not as shocked as we were. Do you know how many times we were told “If you do/don’t do ABC Jillian will DIE!!” I didn’t share the worst of our experiences in hospital with Jillian or with Jodi. I did try to keep my reporting pretty upbeat. But maybe I should have told you and others that when Jodi was in the PICU that one of the nurses there came into work with a hacking cough and her patient had a tracheotomy and was on a ventilator. I guess I should have been happy about that? No, that does not measure up to my standards. When a doctor wants to put a 3 month old on a steroid that stunts growth and has a list of side effects as long as your arm THAT does not measure up to my standards.
The neighbors that go to public school told my kids to watch out for the man that lives caddy corner to us because he likes to “get kids in his garage by showing them toys and then he rapes them.” Are you saying that should be acceptable and I should allow my kids to fellowship with them? What are YOUR standards for playmates for your children? I won’t go into detail about the conversations about sex change operations.
I’m sure you’d be thrilled if your neighbors vandalized your belongings and shot guns in the air while you are visiting. You’d probably run right over and give them a big kiss, right? Oh no, you couldn’t because they now keep their gate locked to keep the Sheriff out. Duh!!
Jen, I imagine if you had a blog you’d fill it with beauty and wonder and happiness because nothing bad ever happens in your life. And everyone would love you and everyone would agree with you. You’d share your feelings perfectly and all in the world would be good. Oh, but if you did that you wouldn’t have to post essays on my blog condemning me. Hmmmm.
You have this attitude of live and let live. You tell me repeatedly to not be so judgmental and imply that I should never be upset by the things that go on around me. I should never talk about doctors, nurses, other people’s children, my own children, etc, etc…oh, unless it’s positive. I’m not sure why this applies to me and not yourself. Why do you insist on coming back again and again just to waste your keystrokes trying to belittle me? At least I don’t ask people to do things I am not doing. Hmph!
I am truly sorry if people bashed your medical decisions about your children. That is rude and ridiculous and I know that you love your children more than anything and would do ANYTHING to keep them safe, happy and healthy. That is not a question AT ALL. You obviously devote your entire life to your children and I think that is amazing and wonderful.
That being said, please take time to think about the feeling of others before you speak/act. I read a lot of other Christian/homeschooling blogs and none of them have this tone of intolerance that you present. I am not a homeschooler, and there are several blogs that have interested me and enlightened me on the benefits of homeschooling, and honestly, this is not one of them. You are not convincing anyone that homeschooling is the way to go by putting everyone around you down. Maybe you don’t care, but if you feel as passionately about homeschooling as you profess, I would think you would WANT to encourage and not discourage others.
What does homeschooling have to do with doctors and nurses as mentioned in the paragraph above? I get the feeling you are grasping at straws. -Katie
And I know you will bash me and belittle me for this comment and that is ok. If that makes you feel better about yourself and feel important, go ahead.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:32 am
I am a silent reader, but I can’t keep quiet on this one. You amaze me with your narrow mindedness and superior attitude. You are teaching to your children to judge others based on whether or not they can spell? Personally, I think that you are robbing your children of knowing what the “real” world is like and I especially take offense to your comment about Government employees. I know you won’t care, but I am deleting you and no longer will be reading.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Whew - I didn’t read for a few days and this is what I find? Once again, everyone needs to just chill out and take the post for what it was - an recounting of an event that happened at the Bettendorf home/life. That’s all this was - a situation came up, Jeff (jiffy? shameful, yet oh so clever) and Katie handled it the way they saw fit - done! I don’t believe they set out to cause controversy. I am personally sick to death of people telling me how to parent, what my kids are missing out on by not being in PS (yeah, I know what they’re missing and it’s horrifying to think of) or by us not allowing them to run the roads on their bikes and succumb to every fad out there. I DON’T CARE if you disagree with me, I am the one who will answer for the decisions I make. Society is spiraling out of control here. Did you know that if you call the police on your hateful, abusive teenager that YOU, as the parent, have to PAY to get them out of the house? A friend of mine was being hit by her teenage daughter all the time. She called the police to get her out of the house and help (since all of the professionals only saw the delightful girl she chose to show them) and she’s now in debt to the tune of $6,000 for court fees, juvenile detention, probation, etc. because her adopted daughter is still 17. Should we let things get this far and then blame the PS system after the fact? Should we be proactive and set standards from the get-go? Your negative comments only try to tie our hands more as parents and that is WRONG.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:41 am
People, it’s the truth about government employees. My dh has been in management level in the IRS for a year now and he does nothing but pull his hair out over the lazy people there! If they were making peanuts, he wouldn’t care, but these people are making 6 figure incomes and barely doing a thing! He does all in his power to motivate them, to no avail. They KNOW there is nothing they can do to get fired. There is one reason…UNION. Federal employees have a very strong union that protects the lazy! :)
April 25th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Ms.Lisa: So true!!!! OH so true!!! Everyone Else: Please just make up……Pretty please with a cherry on top?!?!?! I hate it when people fight about things and don’t realize what they’re doing to the other person only what the other person is doing to them. Like I said before, take it to the Bible, this is not worth losing friends over. If that boy was here now he would be laughing and gloating over the mess he caused, so in effect, you havn’t done anything to him!! And since he was on your kids blogs, doesn’t that mean he might have acces to yours?!?!?!?! Take the time to admit your own faults (yes, everyone has them) try and fix them and I’ll do that too. And first. I admit that since I dont’ know these people in real life that I shouldn’t judge them so hardly. Your turn. Please Make Up!!!!!!!!!!!
In Christ Lord Jesus,
April 25th, 2008 at 8:07 am
I agree with the government thing, my husband is retiring because he is tired of it all. There are a lot of wondeful people in the government agencies. Some of them are trying to make a difference but unfortunately most of them are just collecting a paycheck.
As far as the spelling thing. I appreciate Katie and Jeff’s dedication to their children. They are trying to make a difference. Just because your child has learning disability is no reason for poor spelling or language or rudeness. Katie and Jeff have children with learning problems but yet they take the time to sit down with thier children and correct their spelling and language. They are not condemning their children but teaching them. they have openly admitted that if they did not do this that their children’s blogs would probably read the same way as this young mans. I wish more parents took the time to correct and teach their children. If someone were to point out to my child the errors of their ways the way Katie and Jeff did I would be ever so grateful. I also would not take offense and say they were unsurping my authority as a parent. I think want offended this father the most was that he knew that it was his own laziness as a parent that allowed his son to post such a blog. I feel for this child because what could have been used as a teaching tool has only taught him one thing. Mommy and Daddy are lazy and do not care enough to correct bad behavior. Well if someone doesn’t correct this young man and soon society will. If you think for one second that a college professor is going to accept such poor language skills think again.
So thank you again Katie and Jeff for you love and dedication. I have learnt so much from you. My children do not have a blog right now but if they ever do and your children read it I hope that you would feel free to correct away.
Kathy
April 25th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I don’t think Jen is “grasping at straws”. I think she is trying to point out that your overall bad attidude about anyone besides youself turns people off to your way of life. It gives a lot of people the impression that homeschoolers are as rude and judgemental as you.
I also think, and I may be wrong, that she doesn’t want you to spend all your time being “happy”. I think it is more that you spend so much time being negative and judgemental and you never look for the good in anyone. All you do is point out negatives in everyone and everything.
Can you be more specific about where I have been unreasonably negative and where I could have found a more positive slant on things?
It would be nice to see what you do to help those that need help instead of just judge them.
Which people are you referring to? The doctors? The nurses? The neighbor boy? The poor speller? The public school kids? How would I have “helped” them?
I can’t say that for sure, but that is what I am guessing. I am a silent reader too but I too am getting tired of your condescending attitude towards others.
April 25th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Well Katie,
I have not really commented about this topic because by the time I started reading, it was getting a bit heated. But I must say that I agree with you. We should ask our children to do their best, not just enough to get by. And I have had to shield my own children from things that I thought may encourage apathy and laziness, because they DO cause it! It is human nature. In fact, it seems that if we do, just let things “slide”, perhaps that would be laziness on our (the parents) part. I am not perfect of course, none of us are. But we must try and make our best effort.
It would also seem that your fears are well founded. Incredibly, this news article came on this morning, right during this discussion on your blog!
http://www2.nysun.com/article/75359
April 25th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Thanks Katie! Let’s go for tea….
It is too bad you have an opinion or raise your kiddos the way you see fit. If you did nothing and your kids picked up (like John and my kids) the words, the spelling and unleash the parrot that lives in them in the midst of a seemly perfect family, they would have “a cow”!
April 25th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Initially I said, I would have simply blocked his blog. I am changing that opinion.
Everyone here that posted on her blog, bashing her choice, could have done the same….simply stop reading and posting. Instead people posted honestly how they felt. That’s all Katie did.
Does anyone smell the hypocrisy besides me?
Katie’s approach WAS straightforward and honest. Because of her honesty perhaps the boy will be motivated to do better? Perhaps his parents will strive harder to work with him and his deficits. Perhaps his parents will begin to use the kid’s blog as a teaching tool and see that he presents himself to others better. Why it’s important and so on…. She didn’t tell them they should, she left that up to them to decide.
I am thankful for your blog Katie, I love to see different points of view…you made me see this entire situation differently. Where I would have taken the easy & comfortable way out…you chose to be honest and something positive may come out of it. Probably not… you saw a problem and shared it. You didn’t simply ignore it.
I am certain if I were that boys parents, I would have stewed for days..but you know what? I would eventually considered what was said, once I calmed down….and I would have done something to try to make it better! Isn’t that what we as parents should all try to do? Make our children the very best they can be? It’s never easy to hear something negative about our children or our parenting…. but criticism is something we can all use to our advantage.
I had a friend a few years ago whose child was a brat. It got so bad I couldn’t stand it anymore. I made excuses when she called and eventually we stopped communicating. I never once told her, that her kid was just too annoying to deal with and I didn’t want my son around him. Looking back, I should have been honest. We may not have remained friends, but we’re no longer friends now anyway. I really had nothing to lose and missed an opportunity to motivate her.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:38 am
WOW! I am amazed at the number of comments on this one. THIS IS A BLOG PEOPLE! YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO LISTEN TO KATIE, YOU *CHOSE* TO DO SO! Why on Earth would you choose to do something that sets you all off so bad? I am oblivious to such actions. You come here to read what she has to say and then get all razzed up about it…that just makes no sense to me. I, for one, come here because I *like* to read what Katie writes, even when I disagree at times because it challenges me to see things differently. I daresay those who are all in a huff about this are the ones that are narrow minded. As a parent/teacher/protector of our children, we have to watch out for them and their best interests. Keeping people out of their lives who are disrespectful and indignant should be part of the job. The boy wrote in a manner that clearly speaks to his wordly influences, and that is not what the Bettendorf’s want in their home, why are we to disagree with that? Is it wrong to expect others to communicate in a way that is respectful in your home? That is what emails and private messages are doing, communicating in *their* home. Just as I cringe at swearing, I also cringe at the pop culture language of “homey, zup…nuttin, just hangin’ ” What has made it acceptable to stoop to that level of laziness?
My hubby works in a supervisory position and sees this attitude and lifestyle daily. Those kids are in and out faster than anything, and most just walk off without a resignation because someone has “wronged” them somehow…usually by insisting they WORK. Life isn’t all about shortcuts, and crude language is what is slowing many down. I am not perfect, neither are my children, but we do our best to be respectful and coherent.
As to the comments about the medical stuff? BAH! (that is not a word, I know, but just a sound of utter disgust and frustration and disdain). I haven’t had a child have a lung removed, but I have to deal with constant medical needs. This is an area where most people are truly blind to what goes on. Yes, doctors and nurses are human. Yes, the average American puts them on a pedestal and expect that they know all when it comes to the human body. Not true. Their jobs are merely the result of a college education, much the same as a teacher (many nurses only have to go for 2 years though instead of 4) or other professional. This does not give them some inherent power to know and see all. They work merely on education and experience, often the experience of others and not even themselves! They tend to create the persona that you must listen to “their all” because they know it. In some cases, they do, but there is no way they can know every single disease or ailment and every single body. Flat out, they make mistakes. They often push people to do things that really aren’t studied, but just “standard practice”.
As for the Bettendorf family being narrow minded…hmmm, let’s look at this another way. Most Christians are offended by Muslims. Is that not similar to being a home schooler and being offended by the practices of a “public schooler”? Or what about a “natural diet” family as compared to the “Sad Amercian Diet” family? As we educate ourselves and see how simple changes can be made that improve our quality of life, we grow a disdain for the old ways and are inherently natured to want to share our knowledge with others. I, honestly, find it more offensive that others won’t even consider an alternative to mainstream thinking. I hate to say it for feeling a bit too warm from the flames, but look at the results of the standard diet: we have an overwhelming majority of Americans who are obese, children are suffering from more and more diseases and disorders, we have drug resistant diseases, and medical mistakes happen in as many as 25% (reported) cases of medical care. That is appalling, but Katie is getting slammed for saying that other people don’t care and aren’t doing what she thinks is right? Many haven’t even considered trying to listen?! How can you help your child if you expect others to fix it for you? It is your job to care for your child, not the doctor’s and nurses. It is their job to HELP you when the problems are beyond the scope of your knowledge and skills. It is not their job to step in and push your brain out of the way. You still need to research, ask questions and seek out answers, as well as make changes as needed. Well, I guess as the parent of a child who has medical needs, I will just step down off my soap box now…Katie, do you guys happen to have a crane at that building site? It is mighty high up here!
Oh, and to address the comments about the negatives? Umm, God created roses, and they only bloom a few weeks out of the year. The rest of the time you only see the stems and the thorns. Life isn’t all about the blossoms, so get out of the dirt if you don’t want to get poked now and then.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:44 am
L-O-V-E IT!!!! Thanks for opening people’s eyes. I hope that this will never happen again. Love the roses part. I have bad spelling sometimes too. I hope that people will now kiss (not really) and make up now? *hint hint nudge nudge*
April 25th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Katie never said she expected everyone to be perfect spellers and grammar experts, she simply said that (my paraphrase here:) that a lazy attitude about trying is one of her pet peeves.
Allowing pop-culture to dictate our vocabulary is ridiculous. Have you ever tried to communicate with a slumpy teen with that rumpled, baggy “I don’t care” and “how dare you try to talk to me?” attitude? I have. I have seen some of my friend’s children transformed from polite little children into snarky brats in the past few years.
I have one who tries to act that way and I do not allow it at all. I will not let that apathy to snuff out the life and joy and creativity of real living. Individuality and creativity is NOT in allowing pop-culture to dictate your style, it’s in being bright eyed, bright minded, and full of wonder! It is in respectfully learning all we can and loving every minute of it. Its in the joy of that sparkle in a child’s eyes when they “get it”. It is even in the smile of a child who has repented after correction!
I applaud Jeff and Katie!
Besides, this is HER blog. Would you tell someone what they could say in a phone chat, what they could write in their bedside notebook journal, what they might process in conversation over a cup of tea with a friend, or what they could discuss with their husband in the kitchen while making dinner?
You are all asking Katie to be considerate, but are not considering her at all. That is not right.
Chose your words with gentleness. You are entering someone else’s bloggy home and attacking them in their space. Would you really want Katie to come into your home and tell you how to run it or how to train your children… unless you invited her to do so and frankly, I would do well to actually have such an opportunity and that is exactly why I read her blog.
I have been taking tips from her blogs and others and I have gained insights and encouragements to help me train, nurture and even feed my dear children. I think you can find many good things to focus on and can easily skim over whatever you find to be in a tone that doesn’t set right.
I should have done that with the government issue. I was wrong to point it out and I would like to retract my previous remarks. I knew from the start (and said so) that she probably intended no condescention and yet I plowed ahead anyway. I am very sorry for that. It was not an issue that really required clarification. It was not a point of salvation. It was not an issue of life and death and it was certainly NOT personal in anyway! Katie was not defaming our military employees and I could have easily seen her bottom line point instead of “nickel and diming” her.
Anyway, enough of that from me.
I am sorry for my part in this and I, for one, will be back to read and enjoy more!
Lovingly and Prayerfully,
Christina Brown
April 25th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I have to agree with some of the more recent comments regarding having a change of heart from my first reaction to this blog entry. I can now really see that Spelling IS Important(which I already knew but you really opened my eyes) and also how expecting nothing but total effort from our children and ourselves is essential. This is something that I sometimes lack with my own special needs children but will attempt to improve. I do still believe however that you should have just had your children stop interacting with the boy. The comments that he probably perceived as nasty(however right or wrong they were doesn’t matter, it only matters how he perceived them) most likely only gave him an attitude of I’ll show you instead of what you intended.
Although I do easily get frustrated with things you say in your blog I realize that is my problem and I have the option of not reading. I have learned many things from you. My children have been and are in public school but after reading your blog and many others I do now know that homeschooling is the best option for most children. I do feel sad for your children though in that it seems that you are making them feel that public school children are not as good as them. Children do not raise themselves, parents and life experiences do. Because a parent chooses to send a child to public school is not a reflection on the child. When your adopted children came to you, I’m sure they had some behaviors that you did not approve of but most likely did not change your opinion of them nor did you want others to make the behavior all about who they were or discriminate against them because of thier past life experiences. At some point in their lives your children will most likely have contact(most likely lots of contacts especially as adults) with public school educated persons and it would be sad if they only viewed them as socially backward public school kids and didn’t give them a proper chance. Public school kids can be and are successful in life also. You can’t lump them all together as poorly educated, disrepectful individuals.
Also, I don’t think anyone is coming into your home and bashing you. You are bringing your home to all of us and by having a comment section are inviting us into your home for our opinions. Keeps life interesting doesn’t it! That may be why I don’t have a blog, I’m a coward and would be terrified to find out others opinions of my life!
That being said, as I said above I will continue reading your blog even when I don’t agree with you. I know you would far from agree with everything I do either but hopefully wouldn’t take it personally. Even when you create controversy and things get nasty on both sides, I still learn different viewpoints and for that I am grateful.
P.S. Excuse the grammer and spelling. I was public school educated. I wonder if I could convice my parents to start over and homeschool me now(age 50). Most likely they would have me commited instead for even asking. HaHa
I’m glad my post made you think. I like people who think. :) -Katie
April 25th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
“Besides, this is HER blog. Would you tell someone what they could say in a phone chat, what they could write in their bedside notebook journal, what they might process in conversation over a cup of tea with a friend, or what they could discuss with their husband in the kitchen while making dinner?”
The difference is this blog is public. Phone chats, bedside journals, tea with a friend and spousal conversations are private. I believe that is what people are trying to convey to Katie.
I’m well aware. ;) -Katie
April 25th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Lots of things are public. I don’t shop at a particular store on the mall because of their advertising being tasteless, but when I pass by the store I don’t stand in the door way and say “I hope you know I am never going to shop here because you have tasteless advertising”. That wouldn’t do any good. If a blog is not encouraging or helpful to you, stop reading. When controversial topics are addressed in this and other blogs the blog writers are not making personal attacks on you, the reader, specifically. Yet, you find making a personal attack on the blog writer simply “expressing your opinion”. I think the comments were far more vile than any of the blog entries.
When we go to Red Robin on Monday we will stop by the mall and scream at any stores you wish. -Katie
April 25th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Okay I want you to yell at the cookie and coffee shop in the mall. They should know better than have such tempting sweet smelling of so bad for you stuff. Don’t they know how tempting it is to stop in and just indulge..
thanks
Kathy
April 25th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
The only way I would be tempted to indulge would be if I had no self control. If I wanted sweets or coffee I would find a way to get them. If I have no self control to not eat an entire box of Krispy Kremes is that the fault of the donut shop? I don’t think you can compare treats and coffee vendors to a store that has partially nude models in their advertising. Not apples to apples if you ask me.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Ms.Debbie, that was just mean!!! This is a blog about a family’s life, not a boxing ring. Please stop fighting. I don’t think I will post again here.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Sorry if that came across as a slam. That was not how it was intended. I wasn’t slamming Kathy, I was saying comparing the two was not the same. I forget sometimes people are over sensitive. Geesh.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
I am sorry I was just kidding. Of course I don’t expect Kaite or Jeff to really do that and certaintly didn’t think anyone would take it seriously. I do have self control but come on , some things are just sooooooooo good and tempting.
Kathy
April 25th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
WOW! I can’t believe all these posts! I read the other blog post and made a comment before I read any of this one. I had to go back and make sure I didn’t sound like I was disagreeing with you! If I did, I didn’t mean too. I DO agree that spelling is important, that’s why it’s been frustrating for me that I have two that just don’t “get it.” Everyone else can spell easily and perfectly. It seems to me to be something to do with the particular kind of child. For me, it’s the “hands-on” type that have the trouble.
Anyway, I loved Stacy’s post and totally agree. We can decide the standards we want for our own families and our own children. No one is required to read your blog, they should just go elsewhere and let the rest of us enjoy it in peace. :)
April 25th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Everyone knows Katie has her life on display and likes controversial comments. To say no one should post against her is ridiculous. She says all the time she likes people’s opinions. If she didn’t want comments she’d turn them off. I personally think she get’s a kick out of some of her posts knowing what direction the comments are going to go.
I think it was a harsh way to go for the 12 year old. Would not have done it myself, but that’s just me. Personally think there could’ve been a kinder way to handle it. Probably the first thing you should ask yourself Katie & Jeff …Is it showing the love of Christ if I do ABC? If you think it does…then go for it. You don’t have to answer to any of us for things you’ve done in this life.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Um, er, well…
I confess my older ones cannot spell worth a toot. I’d be embarrassed if Katie read one of their e-mails. I always help them with spelling (at their request) when they are e-mailing someone.
However, I think Sequential Spelling is the perfect program for them and will correct that. I love it so far! And so do they!
My son, ironically, is a natural speller. He’s only 8, so of course he makes mistakes, but I think it’s a visual-learner kind of thing. He just remembers what the words look like.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
P.S. I wouldn’t have done it (confrontation not being my strong suit, especially over a relatively trivial matter), but it’s Jeff’s and Katie’s call who–I mean *with whom* their children may communicate. I don’t really consider it my business.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
It is good to use such examples of why our children must learn to excel. We are told to “judge a tree by it’s fruit”.
April 26th, 2008 at 7:55 am
I totally agree with Stacey’s comment. It seems some come to this blog looking for the bad. As far as I can tell, only a couple people that have commented know Katie IRL. I don’t know her IRL, but for some reason, I am seeing her different than so many of the other readers here. Maybe it’s because I always try to look at more than just the words. If you picture a condescending person as your reading a blog entry, you will see her as one, and it doesn’t matter WHAT the content of the entry is. You can read that same entry picturing a loving parent who is trying to do her best, and it will be totally different. THIS is where removing the own log from our eye comes into play. Maybe before we get all heated about what someone else has said, we need to pray and ask God if maybe OUR heart needs to be changed in how we are feeling toward a person before we even read what they have to say. Lest we PRE-judge what is between the lines based on our OWN attitudes. It’s very easy as humans to get a “bad taste in our mouths” against a person when they say something we disagree with. Suddenly, everything that comes out of their mouth is bad in our eyes! That’s simply not true! I am ashamed to admit there was a time (and I still struggle with it from time to time) when I did that with my own son. Before we really knew how to train him (oldest) he had a horrible attitude and disrespect for me and dh. It got to the point where I was always looking for a bad attitude, so that’s all I would see in him and be unnecessarily crabby with him. It became the rule, not the exception. He did NOT always have the attitude, but I constantly questioned his motive in EVERYTHING and just ASSUMED his attitude was always stinky, and treated it as such. It makes me sad to look back on that time now. Once in awhile, I still catch myself doing it and I have to pray to God and ask Him to change my heart before I react to my son’s actions, instead of his heart.
I do not see Katie as trying to push everyone to do things her way. When things work well for her and her family, she shares her experiences. When things go bad, she shares her experiences. We all do it. She shares her opinion in both. I think it only sticks out to some when it doesn’t agree with theirs.
As far as the government comment, my dh works for the state corrections dept and he would totally agree as well. He is very good at his job, and I am very proud of him! But, there are some people that work with him that, due to their laziness, probably put him in more danger than the inmates they are baby-sitting!
I could go on and on, but it seems I already wrote a novel. As a homeschooler (who was ps’d myself), I totally agree. Especially with my 7yob, I am learning now how easy it is for them to pick up the most annoying little things, and how important it is to monitor relationships. I would rather protect my kids than worry about people THINKING I’m teaching them to be condescending toward others. I have a feeling the FEW here that know Katie and her family IRL could vouch for the kids’ attitudes in that area better than us who read snippets about her life here and there. ;-)
April 26th, 2008 at 11:03 am
One last thing. I promise.
To those of you who say that Jeff and Katie are indoctrinating their children to be intollerant and superior, I will say this. I have never met these people, but they fascinate me and I would love to be freinds. I don’t always agree with the choices they make- but here comes my point:
SOMEBODY IS GOING TO INDOCTRINATE YOUR CHILDREN! IT SHOULD BE YOU! IF YOU STEP ASIDE IN THE NAME OF OPENMINDEDNESS, YOUR CHILDREN WILL BECOME INDOCTRINATED TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE SO OPENMINDED THAT THEIR BRAINS FALL OUT!
PEOPLE, THESE ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN. IT IS NOT ACTUALLY YOUR BUSINESS. KATIE CHOSE TO SHARE WITH YOU. IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO TOLLERATE EVERYTHING THAT COMES THEIR WAY DON’T ASK KATIE TO ALLOW HER CHILDREN TO PLAY WITH YOURS.
April 26th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
oooh Gina!
Love your post!
“SOMEBODY IS GOING TO INDOCTRINATE YOUR CHILDREN! IT SHOULD BE YOU! “
April 26th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
The space at the bottom of the blog says, “submit comment”. It doesn’t say “submit comments only if you agree”. When you’re in the blogosphere and you open up your life (or post) you have to be ready to take the heat. Gotta love the ‘net!
April 27th, 2008 at 7:42 am
I don’t think Katie would want everyone to agree with her. If everyone did, she’d have to change her own POV because it’s just impossible for her to BE like the majority!
April 27th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
ROFLOLOLOL to the whole thing….Great Read!!! :-D
April 28th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
I was reading through these comments, but I really just got tired of all the negativity from all sides. So anyway…
I appreciate your thought on having to fight what is instilled in kids in school simply because they are there for a good amount of time. I agree. However, I think that is a reason that parents really have to be engaged with their kids. Parents can stay on top of bad behavior if they keep their eyes and ears open…and ask lots of questions.
That being said, I have not personally decided what to do as far as my own kids’ schooling. It’s scary to think of putting them into the hands of the secular teachers out there. I also know, however, that they are going to have to face those things at some point. They are going to have to make choices about how they act and what they pick up. And I just might decide that I would rather them face the things that I would not approve of while they are still living in my home and I have a greater influence on them.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:35 am
I agree with JM that our children are to going encounter life, and I would rather they be under my roof while that happens.
My Sister-in-law locked her children away from anything that wasn’t “Christian” (TV, music, people, etc.), and when they left the house, they ran wild! It was hard to watch her, and the children, go through that.