We’ve been roasting our own for some time now.  This is not like “rolling your own” although both may involve an addiction of some sort.  Say hello to the green beans which are drastically different than green beans that you grow in a garden and eat with mashed potatoes. These are coffee beans…  for the uninitiated.

Step 1:  Buy a $5 popcorn popper at Goodwill.

Step 2:  Buy green coffee beans.  Ask Jeff where to acquire them.

Step 3: Pour coffee beans into popcorn popper.

Step 4:  Turn on popper and stir, stir, stir.  (Feign interest, unlike John)

Step 5: Regale friends with trivial information about bean roasting.

Step 6:  Exclaim over bean chaff flying in the air.  Stir, stir.

Step 7: Admire your handiwork and make a cryptic comment about photographing the beans.  Appear flustered when your secret message is not understood by your wife and you must come right out and say “Come take a picture!”

Step 8:  Continue to stir until the beans are the desired shade of brown. 

Quickly dump beans into metal strainer and toss back and forth between two strainers until you are satisfied that the beans are cooled.

Step 9: Repeat steps 1-8 to create beans of a lighter shade.  Make your wife take a picture of the two different roasts and proclaim that you are making a “blend”.

Step 10: Let the beans rest for an hour.  Grind the beans and make coffee.  Announce that you don’t like the flavor and hypothesize that is the reason why you had an abundance of that type of coffee bean while the other types were almost gone.

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