These are kefir “grains”.  Simply said they are a collection of yeasts and bacteria that can then ferment milk products.  There is some fun stuff that can be done with juice but I’ll let you experiment with that on your own.

You acquire grains the same way you acquire SCOBY for Kombucha Tea.  By asking your friends.  And yes, I’ll include a Kombucha Tea tutorial some time in the future.  There is also kefir powder that you can buy which only lasts for a limited number of cultures.  For some reason kefir will not culture like yogurt does with just a portion of the yogurt used from the last batch to make the next.  And I just don’t know why.  I am only one woman and I can only do so much.

The taste?  It tastes like yogurt.  Ours doesn’t get fizzy like Sheila’s because we don’t put the lid on tight enough.  It is far better tasting than soda. Gack!!  You can flavor it with anything you choose.  We like pineapple.  The kids also like to put nutmeg and vanilla in it and it tastes like egg nog…so they say.  We’ve also done frozen strawberries and blueberries.  Whatever suits your fancy.

I pour cold milk straight from the fridge over my grains and then it sits on the counter and warms.  The culturing process takes 12-24 hours depending on how warm the room is.

Dell, it is really frightening the similarities.  Do you know who your biological father is?  Might we be sisters?  Either that or we are both just really really smart. :)  That would be ok too.

Kait, the similarities to store bought kefir are they should be the same except home made kefir is much cheaper and has no additives like corn syrup.

Chas, I *do* have grains.  I’ll be heading to the PO soon as I have others I need to send grains and SCOBY to.

Vicki, next time I divide my grains I’ll pop some in the mail to you. :)

Debbie, frightening.  I won’t tell the poor grains that they will be living in the slums.  Perhaps they can fix the place up  bit.  ;)

Here is a nifty-thrifty site that you must read start to finish if you want to be a kefir aficionado.  Read and be educated.

Everything you might ever want to know about kefir and more.

Now I must work on my Jodi post for today.  Ciao.

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These are the ingredients. Kefir (it’ll become clear in a moment how to “make” it), half a can of pineapples, a banana (the banana was picture shy) and stevia (still hiding in the cupboard). You will also need a broken strainer and a bowl. Ok, even a non-broken strainer will work but you won’t have the memories of how it got broken each time you use it. Actually, I don’t *know* how it got broken and I don’t make the kefir anyway.

Step 1: Dump kefir into strainer precariously balanced on bowl. Definitely a two hand job. That is Jenna’s arm. Do you remember when your skin was that smooth? I do but I try not to think about it.

Step 2: Scrape remaining kefir out of the kefir jar. Jenna also has calluses on her fingers from playing so much guitar. I never had anything cool like that. All I ever got was dry lips from blowing in a flute. But I wasn’t good like Sheila.

Step 3: Gesture to your mother about something in the process of kefir making. Look at that creamy kefir. By the way, I have no remembrance of what exactly Jenna was trying to convey to me during her gesturing. Call me spacey. Or call me focused. That’s what I am. So wrapped up in my desire to bring you quality tutorials. Uh-huh.

Step 4: Stir

More stirring. Your goal is to stir until the kefir slips through the holes in the strainer and into the bowl below where you can then have your way with it.

Look, she is making progress. Just one more thing that girl excels at. Stirring. She got those genes from me. I’m a fabulous stirrer. You’ve never seen someone stir until you’ve seen me.

Voila, the kefir has dissipated and all we have left are grains. The infamous grains.

Step 5: Into a new jar those happy little grains go. Grains have been described to look like soggy cauliflower or cow brains. Yep, cow brains. Isn’t that appetizing? Thanks Jerry. How do you know what cow’s brains look like anyway?

They are all moved in and now have to decide which wall the couch will go on. It’s a tough decision when you live in a circular glass house.

Step 6: We provide the food. After all the little buggers are busy picking out drapes.

We drown them with milk. But they like it.

Step something: We give them the best view on the counter and they settle in and get to work. You can’t see them but they are doing a happy dance in their new home. Just about all the sugar from the milk is consumed in 24 hours so they were getting a bit hungry.

Yes, that is an itty bitty jar we are now making our kefir in. Don’t ask. Time to dump the kefir into the blender. This is the part Jenna excels in.

Perfectly executed. And we were not in the middle of an earthquake when I took this picture. I was holding a baby, talking to children and taking a picture. See Kristy, I can multitask. Just don’t ask me to shop and talk on the phone. No way. Last time I did that I ended up with endive in my cart.

Pineapple time.

What happened to the picture of Jenna pouring off the juice into a cup to drink later? It’s lost. It’s gone forever and we shall never see it again. sad. sad. Time to put half a can of pineapple in.

Here is the shy banana. Horror of horrors, Jenna is disrobing the banana. I can see years of therapy in Mr. Banana’s future. Unless we put an end to his misery.

Yep, in went Mr. Banana. I feel better now, don’t you? We use two dropper fulls of stevia.

And the ice to fill up the rest of the blender.

Then, because you are a wiener to the 10th degree you have to call your little brother over to run the blender. Jenna will need a brave husband. Or at least someone that is not afraid of small kitchen appliances. Oh and our walls are not mustard yellow contrary to what this picture is trying to tell you.

On goes the blender and look at how light and fluffy that kefir is getting. It’s dern frothy.

Jenna is back on the scene after curling up in the corner with her hands over her head while the blender ran. Pouring she is cool with. There are no loud noises when you pour. I mean, I hope there aren’t.

Looking good!

Serve cold with CLO.

Swallowing is something else Jenna can handle without too much trauma and she is excellent at it.

Allow the kefir grains and milk to sit for 24 hours and repeat the process. Your intestinal flora will thank you.

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Well this week should be  fun.  I have one more day of school to show you  (Hoorah Science!), a kefir tutorial, more conversations with Jodi and maybe some discussion of pots and pans (I’m a bit obsessed.  It’s scary.).  In the meantime you should mosey on over to Jeff’s message board to entertain yourself.  We are having lively discussions about dresses only, healthy recipes and adoption issues (including what to do when someone starts grooming your children like an ape.)  You know you want to know so head on over there immediately.

I’m going to finish up feeding the baby, eat some breakfast and work on a great kefir tutorial for you guys.  Check back soon for that.

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The skies look like this.

Today I took 3 kids to the Tea Room.  I met Debbie and we had a great time aside from the 45 minute wait for a table.  Oh ya, it’s Saturday. Duh!!  Donut was not feeling well while we were there and he had a full blown fever by the time we got home.  See what happens when you skip kefir and CLO for over a week?  Yep.  So I dosed him with vitamin C, Ambrotose and Sovereign Silver.  Within 20 minutes his fever was gone.  After another dosing an hour later he was up running and playing.  We will see how he does tomorrow but right now we have this thing on the run.

I have about a million pictures of our school day…ok maybe there are only 250,000 but the thought of editing all of them and taking the time to post them here is …well, terrifying.  But I really want ya’ll to understand what “school” is to us (you know, during the 3 weeks a year that we bother).  It’s important to me.

I did learn something while documenting our school day though.  It takes almost twice as long to accomplish anything while trying to snap photos of it.  Even when you are not the one doing the picture taking.  Because then you have to deal with the constant questions like “Do you want a picture of that?  How many pictures do you want?  Do you want your head in the picture?”  And you want to scream “It’s a *digital* camera!!  Take the dern picture!!!” Sheesh!

Anyway, we did take pictures of the full school day…well, at least the seatwork portion because that is the hard part that everyone wonders about.  Everyone, in all grades, can enjoy a good science experiment with oobleck.  You don’t know what oobleck is?  I’m sorry, you must have been public schooled.  So we will cover that and quite honestly, tonight while perusing my photos, I realized this may be a 5 part entry.  I may dedicate the entirety of next week to postings of children hunched over workbooks diligently focusing on math or spelling or something, you know, dude.  Because we are dedicated here and we don’t want to give any impression otherwise.

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You all know how much I love the Mannatech products. Jillian is still taking them and we are still being sponsored by the MannaRelief program which makes it all possible because the supplements can get expensive. Also, we likely would have never tried the products without the kind donations from our Internet friends and Mannatech distributors. Now I know of another family that would like to try these wonderful products.

Jen Backus has brought her son Samuel back from the brink of death more times than I can remember. When all of the experts and professionals gave up on Samuel, she never did. I admire her greatly and hope that I would have half the resolve and commitment that she has if I happen to find myself in her situation.

Jen has been advised that the glyconutrients in the Mannatech products might be helpful to Samuel. She would like to add the Mannatech products to Samuel’s health regimen but already has the mounting costs of allopathic care and the alternative medicines looming over her head. Jen has signed up for the MannaRelief program and Samuel can now be sponsored. Please, if you feel led, donate to Samuel’s account using case #8578.

Samuel Backus

Jen, if you’d like me to remove Samuel’s picture let me know. :)

Point of business #2.

If you have not already heard, Jeff has started a message board. It looks like it is going to be a really fun place to hang out and visit with other Christians and like minded folks. And please please go register because Jeff is putting a lot of time and energy into this board and I’d hate for it to all be for naught.

In other news.

As soon as I posted the info about staying healthy Jacob started in with a cough. It’s almost no wonder as we haven’t had kefir in over a week and our diet has been less than stellar. Today I will be dosing everyone with garlic and Sovereign Silver. Tomorrow we will have kefir. Ugh, now my throat is scratchy!! Bring on the garlic!!

My cook along this week was supposed to be about kefir but it is mighty hard to take pictures *and* hold a baby. So look for that cook along soon. Monday I’ll be posting a cook along for stuffed bell peppers which is a common Turkish dish. And yummy to boot!!

I’d like to do another give away soon. What do you guys prefer? Books, CDs, gift certificates or what?

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We all encounter bugs.

Unless you live in a bubble you and everyone else out there are exposed to pathogens everyday.  Your spouse comes home with bugs either on his hands, clothing or as a carrier of an illness that will never manifest in him/herself.  You visit Walmart and touch ANYTHING and you know you’ve been exposed to some nasty germ.  I don’t care if you use a wipey for the cart when you walk in if you touch anything I guarantee that those things have been touched before.

So what is the difference between those that fall ill and those that don’t?  We all have been exposed to the same thing.  The difference is your “terrain”.  Bugs can not take hold unless your body is not prepared to take them on and destroy them.  We have an immune system for a reason.  The things below make your system ripe for a change in power.  A biological coup, if you will.  The bugs will come in and take over if they can.  That is their goal.  They are the parasites and you are the host.

It is not the environment, it’s the terrain.

If you have nourished your body in a good way it will be unable to sustain the buggies.  When you eat sugar these things happen:

Sugar can suppress your immune system and impair your defenses against infectious disease.

Sugar can cause can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline, hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.

Sugar feeds cancer cells and has been connected with the development of cancer of the breast, ovaries, prostate, rectum, pancreas, biliary tract, lung, gallbladder and stomach.

Sugar can cause many problems with the gastrointestinal tract including: an acidic digestive tract, indigestion, malabsorption in patients with functional bowel disease, increased risk of Crohn’s disease, and ulcerative colitis.

Sugar can cause autoimmune diseases such as: arthritis, asthma, multiple sclerosis.

Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections).

I’ve only included a small portion of the information found in the above link.  I encourage you to read it yourself.

Grains react the same way as sugar in the body.  They create an insulin spike very similar to sugar which causes all number of bodily reactions including compromising your immune system.

High Cholesterol

Osteoporosis

Cancer

What can you do?

Be proactive.  It is far better and easier to NOT get sick than to deal with it after you are already ill.   When you are already sick it can be pretty difficult to stay on track with healthy eating so make sure you do it when you are well.  Add to your daily routine these few things:

Vitamin C, fish oil and kefir

Everyone knows Vitamin C is an immune booster.  Vitamin C also does many amazing things but we are talking about staying well today.  Fish oil is chock full of Vitamins A and D both of which are fabulous for immune support.  Kefir supports the helpful bacteria in your gut and your gut is where most infection begins.  Making sure you have friendly bugs in there decreases your risk of illness.

When you feel a cold coming on take these things:

Garlic and Sovereign Silver

Garlic is a triple-whammy: it’s antibacterial, antiviral and anti-fungal.  You just can’t go wrong with garlic.  Jenna has a great tutorial on how we take our garlic here.

Sovereign Silver has proven itself to be one of medical science’s most profound antibacterial and antiviral tools (pdf) with virtually endless uses.  And it is easy to use!!

Don’t get me wrong, we do indulge in sweets.

You are familiar with the Krispy Kreme incident.  But I would have never eaten those Krispy Kreme donuts if I had been feeling under the weather at all.  Even a scratchy throat would have deterred me.  The same is true with the kids.  If someone has a cough or sore throat we don’t eat any sugar.  I make sure that we are nourishing our bodies with nutrient rich food so that our immune system is not overcome by the buggies that want to do us in.

Do it for your kids.

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Jodi and I went outside.

She enjoyed it.

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I finally took the time to move over all the very important events (the day Jeff gives me a full body massage) and phone numbers (Hi Diane and Kristy) from my 2007 (good riddance) planner to my shiny new 2008 (hoorah!) planner.  I love my planners/dayrunners/FranklinCovey/whatever. I can free up a good 75% of my brain by using my “book” which leaves lots of cells to store information like which child can’t stand clothing tags that rub their backs or those elastic thingies to tighten their pants.  It is imperative that I remember these things because I’m not about to spend $2 on a perfectly good shirt that will never be worn.  Put that shirt on.  Put it on anyway.  I don’t care.  Stop that crying.  You will live.  I said stop crying.  Get your hand out of your shirt.  Stop crying.  Fine, if you are going to cry about it, put a different shirt on.  I thought you’d like that shirt.  See if I ever buy you a shirt again.  Does that shirt fit your sister?

When I sat down to do the big year end transfer I began with January.  Because the beginning is a very good place to start.  I got to January 5th before I remembered that February came after January and we all know what happened in February 2007.  I stopped here and debated whether I needed any of the information in that old book.  Surely I didn’t.  I could acquire the same information somewhere else at a different time.  Then I sucked up my fear and turned to February 7th.

A Dr. Ian appointment and nothing else.  There was nothing there to document what happened on that horrible day.  I turned the pages thinking surely there would be some indication in the subsequent pages to the disaster we found ourselves immersed in.

I turned and turned and turned and there was nothing earth shattering.  Oh there were indicators that we had a different sort of routine.  Lists like “Things to take to the hospital” which included “Jillie pants” and “milk” made it clear that something had changed but life seemed to go on.  I am surprised by how we just seemed to adapt.  Within two weeks my lists included things like “Make kefir”, “clean mirror” and “Order Sonlight curriculum”.  Did life really continue?  It really did.  Our new normal.  Then, it seemed, as quickly as the lists began they ended.  By August our trips to PCH were over.  Tragedy was diverted and things returned to the way they were before February 7th.  So strange.

Good-bye 2007.  I think I may burn that book.

****************************************************************

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I was only semi-coherent this morning when Katie said something about needing me to go to the store to get stuff for breakfast.  I mean, I knew I was going to be driving to town to return some DVDs at the library, go to Sam’s Club and to the health food store.  But, I wouldn’t have stayed up until 3 AM had I known I was going to have to get up early to get breakfast stuff!  So, I go to the little store around the corner to pick up some eggs and a few things for lunch since I knew I was going to be gone.

I come home and Jessica is begging to go shopping with me.  Jessica is fun to take because she likes to talk about nothing.  All the time.  Like me.  I do not mind listening to her chatter,  but a lot of the time I keep my mouth moving faster than hers so she is forced to talk about what I want to talk about.  Isn’t that just so nice of me?  You have to know Jessica to understand.  You would have to know me too.

Before I left to go to the store I held Jodi for a bit and kissed all the kids at least once.  Katie got a kiss too.  Lucky her!  I changed a Jodi diaper and a Jonah diaper.  Jonah had one of those diapers where you decide just to give the kid a bath instead of trying to use wipes.  Actually, I did try to use wipes and… well, nevermind.  Let’s just say he ended up in the tub.

On the way to go shopping I had to drive by the local park to see if the river was still overflowing it’s banks.  It had gone down several feet but was still a couple of feet above normal.

I almost stopped at QT to get a fake coffee but I didn’t as I knew I had to stop by Starbucks later to pick up a gift card and I would get a coffee then.

Next stop is the library to return some DVD’s.  Jessica and I talked for about ten minutes or more about where we were going to eat.  We finally decided to eat at the local Indian buffet, Gem of India.  They like us there and were bummed that it was only me and Jessica today.  After lunch I decided to stop in a local photo/video store to check some prices on lenses.

Katie always makes me a list.  Well, almost always.  I do not always follow the list because… well, it… nevermind.  The lists are wonderful.

Here is today’s list:

• Starbucks Gift Card.   I got two of them just in case.

• Roast.  I assume she meant two, so I got two.

• Pepperonis.  I did not get these as I ran out of time to stop at another store and did not want to buy a 5lb bag at Sam’s. What would I do with 5lbs of pepperonis?

• Bratwurst. Check.

• Fish.  I don’t think she has a preference so I buy some Steelhead Trout.

• Turkey.  Will have to get that some other time.

• 10 lbs of Mozzarella Cheese.  Although the list explicitly said to get that much I think she must be out of her mind so I only get 5 lbs.

• 5 lbs of Cheddar Cheese.  Check.

• 10 Dozen Eggs.  Where would I even put 10 dozen eggs?  Besides, I like to buy the brown ones and they do not have those at Sam’s.

• 6 or 7 Packages of Tortillas.  I only got two, assuming she was unaware they come 30 to a package at Sam’s.

• Cottage Cheese.  Did not get because it had all kinds of additives in it.

• Onions.  We already have onions.

• 10 lbs of Potatoes.  Don’t like the potatoes at Sam’s.

• Veggies for Roast.  I would rather get the veggies at the grocery store.

• Veggies for Fish.  Same as above.

• Vegiges for Meatloaf.  We are having meatloaf?

• Mushrooms.  Not sure what these are for and I do not need 5 lbs so I will get them later.

• Spinach.  I did get this.

• 10 Regular Tomatoes.  What in the world are regular tomatoes anyway?

• 20 Roma Tomatoes.  Nope.

• Pineapple – small chunks.  Do not have that kind at Sam’s.  Oops, I meant to get some anyway for kefir smoothies.  Oh well.  Next time.

• Red Pizza Sauce.  Got that.  3-pack of Bertolli Organic

• Pesto Sauce.  Sam’s does not carry this.

• Pecans.  Nope.

• Brown Sugar.  Check.  Don’t worry, it is the good kind.

• 5-point Infant Car-seat.  Check

• Laundry Soap.  Got two just in case.

• Parmesan Cheese.  Last I looked we had two big things of it.

• 2 lbs Sweet Italian Sausage.  Didn’t see that on the list until now.  Oops.

• Parsley.  Didn’t see that either.

• 24 Lasagna Noodles.  Don’t have at Sam’s.

• 32 oz Ricotta Cheese.  I don’t think they had that at Sam’s anyway.

• Ice Cube Trays.  Check.

• Wheat Berries.  Check.

• Wehani Rice.  Check.  This is the best rice!  We need to find a better sources as their prices are double what we could get it for.

• Steel Cut Oats.  Check.

• Grade B Maple Syrup.  Check

Things I got that weren’t on the list…

• Economy pack of cranberry/pomegranate juice.

• Super-cute outfit for Jodi.

• Starbucks Cafe Americano with whipping cream and raw sugar.  Not bad, but I prefer Americanos from Tully’s.

• 5-pack of yummy ripe avocados.

• Crisp Vegetable Chips

• 2 organic sugar-free fruit roll-up thingies.

• Training DVD for camera.

• 2 jars of organic peanut butter

• 18 lbs of chicken breasts.

• Bottle of water for Jessica.

Now I just have to run to the grocery store tomorrow to pick up what I didn’t get today and life will be swell.

Katie just grilled me about the eggs!

So, does this sound like your shopping excursions?

*********************************************

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2. Real Food Wednesdays – Egg Tacos
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I was only semi-coherent this morning when Katie said something about needing me to go to the store to get stuff for breakfast.  I mean, I knew I was going to be driving to town to return some DVDs at the library, go to Sam’s Club and to the health food store.  But, I wouldn’t have stayed up until 3 AM had I known I was going to have to get up early to get breakfast stuff!  So, I go to the little store around the corner to pick up some eggs and a few things for lunch since I knew I was going to be gone.

I come home and Jessica is begging to go shopping with me.  Jessica is fun to take because she likes to talk about nothing.  All the time.  Like me.  I do not mind listening to her chatter,  but a lot of the time I keep my mouth moving faster than hers so she is forced to talk about what I want to talk about.  Isn’t that just so nice of me?  You have to know Jessica to understand.  You would have to know me too.

Before I left to go to the store I held Jodi for a bit and kissed all the kids at least once.  Katie got a kiss too.  Lucky her!  I changed a Jodi diaper and a Jonah diaper.  Jonah had one of those diapers where you decide just to give the kid a bath instead of trying to use wipes.  Actually, I did try to use wipes and… well, nevermind.  Let’s just say he ended up in the tub.

On the way to go shopping I had to drive by the local park to see if the river was still overflowing it’s banks.  It had gone down several feet but was still a couple of feet above normal.

I almost stopped at QT to get a fake coffee but I didn’t as I knew I had to stop by Starbucks later to pick up a gift card and I would get a coffee then.

Next stop is the library to return some DVD’s.  Jessica and I talked for about ten minutes or more about where we were going to eat.  We finally decided to eat at the local Indian buffet, Gem of India.  They like us there and were bummed that it was only me and Jessica today.  After lunch I decided to stop in a local photo/video store to check some prices on lenses. 

Katie always makes me a list.  Well, almost always.  I do not always follow the list because… well, it… nevermind.  The lists are wonderful. 

Here is today’s list:

• Starbucks Gift Card.   I got two of them just in case.

• Roast.  I assume she meant two, so I got two.

• Pepperonis.  I did not get these as I ran out of time to stop at another store and did not want to buy a 5lb bag at Sam’s. What would I do with 5lbs of pepperonis?

• Bratwurst. Check.

• Fish.  I don’t think she has a preference so I buy some Steelhead Trout.

• Turkey.  Will have to get that some other time.

• 10 lbs of Mozzarella Cheese.  Although the list explicitly said to get that much I think she must be out of her mind so I only get 5 lbs.

• 5 lbs of Cheddar Cheese.  Check.

• 10 Dozen Eggs.  Where would I even put 10 dozen eggs?  Besides, I like to buy the brown ones and they do not have those at Sam’s.

• 6 or 7 Packages of Tortillas.  I only got two, assuming she was unaware they come 30 to a package at Sam’s.

• Cottage Cheese.  Did not get because it had all kinds of additives in it.

• Onions.  We already have onions.

• 10 lbs of Potatoes.  Don’t like the potatoes at Sam’s.

• Veggies for Roast.  I would rather get the veggies at the grocery store.

• Veggies for Fish.  Same as above.

• Vegiges for Meatloaf.  We are having meatloaf?

• Mushrooms.  Not sure what these are for and I do not need 5 lbs so I will get them later.

• Spinach.  I did get this.

• 10 Regular Tomatoes.  What in the world are regular tomatoes anyway?

• 20 Roma Tomatoes.  Nope.

• Pineapple – small chunks.  Do not have that kind at Sam’s.  Oops, I meant to get some anyway for kefir smoothies.  Oh well.  Next time.

• Red Pizza Sauce.  Got that.  3-pack of Bertolli Organic

• Pesto Sauce.  Sam’s does not carry this.

• Pecans.  Nope.

• Brown Sugar.  Check.  Don’t worry, it is the good kind.

• 5-point Infant Car-seat.  Check

• Laundry Soap.  Got two just in case.

• Parmesan Cheese.  Last I looked we had two big things of it.

• 2 lbs Sweet Italian Sausage.  Didn’t see that on the list until now.  Oops.

• Parsley.  Didn’t see that either.

• 24 Lasagna Noodles.  Don’t have at Sam’s.

• 32 oz Ricotta Cheese.  I don’t think they had that at Sam’s anyway.

• Ice Cube Trays.  Check.

• Wheat Berries.  Check.

• Wehani Rice.  Check.  This is the best rice!  We need to find a better sources as their prices are double what we could get it for.

• Steel Cut Oats.  Check.

• Grade B Maple Syrup.  Check

Things I got that weren’t on the list… 

• Economy pack of cranberry/pomegranate juice.

• Super-cute outfit for Jodi.

• Starbucks Cafe Americano with whipping cream and raw sugar.  Not bad, but I prefer Americanos from Tully’s.

• 5-pack of yummy ripe avocados.

• Crisp Vegetable Chips

• 2 organic sugar-free fruit roll-up thingies.

• Training DVD for camera.

• 2 jars of organic peanut butter

• 18 lbs of chicken breasts.

• Bottle of water for Jessica.

Now I just have to run to the grocery store tomorrow to pick up what I didn’t get today and life will be swell. 

Katie just grilled me about the eggs!

So, does this sound like your shopping excursions?

*********************************************

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Related posts:

1. A Little Shopping Excursion
2. Real Food Wednesdays – Egg Tacos
3. Sunrise

It slithers down our throat and our burps taste like fish.  We savor each and every swallow.

It keeps us healthy and our skin clear.

Give me more.

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Neighbor number 1.

Neighbor 2.

Neighbor 3.

And neighbor 4 was a little boy that the kids have played with out front.  He was riding by on his scooter so they handed it to him.  He rode off saying “I’m going to go eat al of this right now.”  So cute!!

I stayed in the front yard with Jonah and watched the kids.  Yes I am squatting.  Dr. Bradley says it is good for me. 

It was bright and sunny out.

So I was going into the garage to get milk for breakfast and Jonah was pulling at the dryer door to open it.  I told him of course he could move the clothes over and opened the washer and dryer for him.  he’s never done this so I had no idea how far it would go.  This is what happened when I came back in.

Jill and Jonah moved all the clothes over, which I think were diapers.  Then Jonah started the dryer with a little direction.

Ta da!!  Wow!  He is getting big!!  The rest of the day he was in charge of moving clothes and starting the dryer.

Oh, one last picture.  What is this?  It’s edible.

If you guessed raw milk butter from grass fed cows you are correct.  This was given to me and I have been slobbering over it all day waiting to have it on sourdough bread with breakfast tomorrow.

In other news Jenna and I made the salsa for the cook along on Monday.  We love this salsa.  I think I am going to improvise a recipe tomorrow for another salsa and see how that turns out as well.  Jeff and I made yogurt last night.  Jill and I made jello (from juice and gelatin) tonight.  I made sourdough bread and it will rise all night to be cooked and eaten warm in the morning.  Fabulous oats for breakfast today and amazing burritos for lunch.  Speaking of which I need to set more beans a soakin’.  I have to cook them in the roaster oven because we have outgrown the crockpot!!  I am seriously considering keeping breakfast and lunch to meals that can be served on paper plates.  You can do alot with dry-ish foods.  I loved not having dishes to wash after lunch.

I am thinking a rotating breakfast of two different meals and the same with lunch.  Dinner will be when we bring out the pots and pans.  But with Jodi coming it would be nice to have a plan in place.  I think I want to have a nice long recooperation and stay in bed for 2 weeks to snuggle with my Jodi.  Any great NT like ideas?  So far I have toast, hard boiled egg and milk for breakfast and bean burritos and kefir smoothies for lunch. 

And other than that I crocheted.  I need to finish Jessica’s skirt and all it needs is elastic and a hem but golly those kids needed alot of supervision today.  I spared you the numerous pictures I could have taken of Lina sitting alone or with hand on mouth because she kept spouting rude things to people.  I contemplated posting a pic with the caption “Different day, same behavior.” but decided to ignore it as best I can (while still dealing with it) and have a great time in spite of her.

Jeff got sucked into crazy play with the kids again.  I mean, he brings it on himself really.  Yesterday John went to the garage to put something away and Jeff locked him out of the house.  So today Jeff went into the garage and John locked him out.  The funny thing is the kids look at me to see if it’s a good idea and I always say “He did it to you.  He has it coming.”  For 20 minutes 3 kids freaked eachother out running around the house and in and out of doors while I guess Jeff hid.  Finally one of the times Jessica opened the door to the garage to peek in and see if she could see Jeff he was there and he roared at her and about scared her silly.  I told Jessica that is what happens when you play with the big boys.  It’s a good thing it wasn’t Junie at the door as she would have cried and been scarred for life.

Q&A

Tazzini, gotcha.  You saying your kid is weird too?  ;)  It’s constant with Jessica…which I am used to by now.

Hsmomof5, Junie had a polyp (looked like a meatball) blocking her intestine at age 5 months.  She had surgery to remove it and everything has been fine since.  We were told that there is nothing we did, nothing that will come of it and sometimes these thigns just happen.  The weird part of the story is that when Jill was diagnosed we were contacted by the PPB registry that has done a lot of work in the genetic link for this very rare cancer.  Turns out that kids with PPB have familial history of cystic goiters (me) and intestinal polyps (Junie).  Freaky, eh?

Oh and those problems that can’t be solved by having more kids can be rectified by not eating at McD’s and Burger King.

Jana, new babies have been GREAT for the RAD kids.  I was really shocked by what a positive experience it was for them.  There were two big things.  The first is the new baby is a unifying factor being the newest in the house.  That is one more thing that is NOT “Before you came we ….lived in a different house, had a different dog, went to Disneyland.”  Now the bio and adopted kids have in common that they can say “Before YOU came we….”  Another benefit is they see how I nurture a baby and then they make that connection that they SHOULD have been cuddled that way.  It’s almost like they see themselves in the new baby.  I think all my kids have asked either “Did you do that to me when I was a baby?” (Even those that I did not have as a baby but they don’t remember that.) or “If I had been here when I was a baby would you have done that?” It really is a fabulous thing.  The only downside is that some of the kids are uncoordinated and/or don’t pick up social cues so they annoy the baby.  I remember with Jill I had to make the rule that Jessica was not allowed in the same vicinity as her.  There were one too many incidents where Jessica was visiting with her and then quick stood up and JUMPED over her!!  She wasn’t thinking, she just knew that the place she was headed was on the other side of the 6 month old baby!!  That and she did the same stuff Lina does with getting in the baby’s face and not reading the cues when baby screams or baby hits her face and then pretty soon baby is in hysterics and Jessica is still up in her face goo going at her.  Play time with baby for some children is HIGHLY supervised.  Not because anyone is malicious they are just careless.

Anonymous, CLO = Cod Liver Oil

Diane W, I don’t know enough about postnatal bleeding to advise you.  Contact Kristy, she is the expert!!

Anonymous, you asked why I didn’t find Word for Jason.  And I wonder why you don’t sign your name and leave a blog address.  It just seems weird to me that you wouldn’t. 

Mountainmama, I asked Jeff about the Kitchen Aid and why he bought a Bosch instead.  He said that from what he remembered the Bosch had a stronger motor and larger capacity.  When he was looking it was the Bosch and DLX in the running and he decided on the Bosch because it was local and cheaper.  And I am thinking I did something wrong because ours were not airy at all.  They were like pasty little crepes with a strong sourdough taste! LOL  I think I’ll beat and fold in the egg whites like Kim told me to do on my cook along blog.  She said that made them fluffy.

Mo, did you post pics at your blog?

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Related posts:

1. Errands and Naps… Ahhhhh
2. Starting a Schedule? Say it Ain’t So!!
3. Food, Food and… Diapers?

Do you guys mind if I post a little more about what FAS/RAD looks like here? Those of you with these types of children know that these things seem to cycle. I’m not sure if it happens that one kid loses it so they all kinda freak out one by one or if just slowly they all start spiraling out of control at the same time and all of a sudden I am left looking at them thinking “What is going on and where did my kids go?” Maybe it has to do with moon cycles and gravitational pull? I should track it. In any case my mind is always boggled. As I mentioned in my last post I’m always shocked.

In any case, I need to share some stories. I think I may have mentioned that my adopted kids are not good at transferring rules from one place to another. For instance, if we have a rule at home that says “Do not hang on the handrail.” They know that rule AT HOME. Take them to someone else’s home and they don’t remember that rule. When we were traveling to Missouri we slept in a new location 3 different nights, right? Each night we had to tell the adopted kids some basic rules. The same rules that applied at home and each and every day of their lives since we have had them but did not compute in a new environment.

Every night we had to tell them “Grab your blanket when you get out of the van.” You know, because clearly we are going to bed. If we did not stand at the door as each child got out and make sure they had their blanket then there was tragedy. They would get into their bed, start to snuggle down and realize they had no blanket. The crying would ensue and their refusal to answer anyone about why they are crying. Then an adult would finally make it in and the crying child would say ….get this….”You won’t let me have a blanket.” Ummm… hello? I’m the woman that tells you every stinkin’ night to grab your blanket as you get out of the van. I’m the one that peeks my head into the cabin to remind you “Do you all have your blankets? I’m locking the van.” And now in your head I’m the one that refuses you basic bed coverings. How did this happen? Because their perception is not reality. My bio kids would say “Mom, I forgot my blanket.” And we’d say “Didn’t you hear me tell you to grab it?” “Yes, but then my shoe came untied and I remembered my bear was under the seat and when I bent over Lina bumped me….(you can fill in the rest).” And I’d say “Ok, I’ll get your blanket.

The morning we woke up to leave for MO one of my older boys woke up completely drenched in urine. Ummm…how did this happen when every night he wears a pull up? His answer “Because you told me not to wear a pull up.” I did? “Well you told me to go to bed.” I tell you to go to bed every night. And every night you grab a pull up and put it on before bed. “Well you didn’t say to put one on so I didn’t think you wanted me to.” Because you thought that the night before we left on a three day road trip I would prefer you urinate all over yourself? He didn’t make the connection. The routine that day was different than most days and so now none of the rules applied. EVERYTHING had to be different. I had another kid go get the wet child’s clothes out of the packed trailer. When the child tries to hand wet child HIS OWN clothes the wet child refuses them. I am told wet child refused his clothes. When asked, his response was “I didn’t know who those clothes were for.” Ummm… you are the only one drenched with urine, you heard me tell someone to get you clothes, those are YOUR clothes and they were handed to YOU. Can you say lacking cause and effect thinking? I really thought I was going to have to literally undress and redress this child at 5am. Thankfully I just had to give step by step directions. He did do something weird with the wet clothes but I can’t remember what it was right now.

I won’t tell you about the kids that urinate and defecate on themselves daily, sometimes multiple times per day anytime we travel. I left that charming part out of my blog entries during our trip. It must be taboo to ask to stop for the bathroom if you are not at home.

So today…kids are folding laundry. The rule has always been “Let the little kids fold the washcloths and kitchen towels and other small items. Big kids should fold items that the little kids can not, like shirts and jeans.” It was the same rule in AZ, it’s been the same rule in MO but today I switched up the game plan. Normally the children fold clothes on the floor and today I wanted it done on the table. First thing Jason does is start grabbing washcloths. I say “Jason, save the washcloths for the little kids. Hasn’t that always been the rule?” Yes. “Was it the rule in AZ?” Yes. “Hasn’t it been the rule here in MO?” Yes. “Then why are you folding washcloths?” I dunno. Those of you that don’t have a clue are saying “ya so?” Uh huh, do that 10 times a day times 7 kids!! So doncha know 10 minutes later (after hearing and seeing the above conversation) Jessica leaves what she was already folding to walk over to the little kids and take washcloths. Jillian tells her “We are supposed to fold washcloths.” And Jessica gives her a dirty look (I had already told her no talking) and mouths something to Jillian about being allowed to fold these things. Geesh. Repeat the above conversation.

So everything is folded right? Now I ask Jason to fetch some towels from downstairs. They are folded and stacked on the floor and I tell him “If they have spider webs on them put them here and if they are web free put them in the closet where the vacuum is kept.” Btw, there had already been a big discussion about how the towels that were put there the day before already had spider webs. We are all fascinated with the diligence and speed of the bugs here in Missouri. We discussed not putting things on the floor anymore unless we really don’t mind spider webs on them. Jason accomplishes his job. 15 minutes later I open the closet door to get something. What has happened? The “clean” spider free towels have been thrown on the floor in the closet in the place where the vacuum should be (it was in the livingroom having just been used). A similar conversation again “Do we ever throw towels on the floors of closets? Did we do this in AZ? Have we ever done it in MO? Why were the towels dirty that were left downstairs? Do you want these to get spiders as well? So why would you throw them back on the floor and cause them to become unfolded even if you know I just told you to pick them up off the floor for the purpose of keeping them bug free?” I dunno.

My line of questioning is to get them to think. Yes, Alaina I hold hope that one day it will just click. We make slow progress everyday. The first question they should always ask themselves when they are doing something new is “Have we ever done this before?” If the answer is yes then the next question is “Do we ALWAYS do it this way?” If the answer is no then it is time to ask for clarification. I DO explain to them why we do things when we do them but they are such CONCRETE thinkers.

The other day we were having oatmeal and I told the kids they could have peanut butter with their oatmeal. John immediately said “Dad said we can’t have peanut butter with our oatmeal.” So I asked “Why did he say that?” “He doesn’t want us to have peanut butter with our oatmeal.” “Ever?” “He said no.” “I think it will be ok. Go ahead.” “But Dad said no.” “Ok, I’ll go ask him the circumstances or if he meant never again.” I head toward the bedroom where Jeff is on his computer and John is calling behind me “Dad said no.” I finally called back and told him to stop. Can you say FAS?? Turns out Jeff had said no once but the problem then was that he didn’t want them using all the PB because it was to be used for lunch. The best part of the story is that when I came back to the table and told the kids the WHY of what Dad said John shook his head and was FIXATED on his perception of how it should be. He kept repeating “Dad said no.” It is not uncommon for me to say to John “I am sorry you feel that way but it is not the truth. You can continue to be upset about ABC but the truth is you misperceived what was going on.” One of our goals for John is that he learn how to admit that he may have misunderstood someone’s intent and not just feel betrayed and lied to when it becomes clear that what he thought was real isn’t.

Today we went to the orthodontist. Dr. Pat told John that he needed to brush a certain way as he was missing a spot. He said these words to my son “It’s ok if your gums bleed when you brush.” I about jumped out of the chair. My literal son just heard “You need to brush hard enough to make your gums bleed.” So I said “John, he did not just say you need to push really hard.” We have had this problem before where John thought pressure was better than thoroughness and he *was* ruining his gums. So the very nice orthodontist went on to explain “Yes, your mom is right. You don’t have to act like you are scraping paint off but you need to push firmly. Your gums will bleed for about the first week if you are doing it right.” What my literal son heard was “Your gums need to bleed.” And if he caught anything about scraping paint it is likely something akin to “Don’t eat paint.” Or “we have paint we can put on your teeth if they get too dirty.” Or “Don’t brush while you are painting.” I’ll have to ask him tomorrow. By the time the orthodontist was done the only thing running through my head was “Stop talking. Stop talking. Too many words. You lost him at scrape paint. Now I have to clean up later all the extra words you are pouring into his head and are getting all jumbled up.”

Oh oh, John also repeats words and phrases (often incorrectly) without knowing at all what they mean. Is that a common FAS thing? I know Kari’s daughter does this. I don’t get the WHY of it though.

Shall I tell you how many times a day Lina jumps over/walks over toys and falls on top of them instead of walking around them? Can you say FAS? What about the number of times she was bit by Jenna’s Chihuahua because she absolutely HAD to grab the dog by the ears and put her face right in his. Then when the dog was gone she began doing it to Jonah even though it made him scream bloody murder. We have been fighting this behavior for 18 months. She continues. FAS anyone? Recently Jonah took to biting her…only her…when she continually got in his face. If I was not in the room I could hear it happening. Jonah would say “Stop.” Five seconds later he’d screech then 5 more seconds silence and Lina crying. I finally tomato staked her and told her to not even LOOK at Jonah. Because that is where it all starts. Just last night Jonah did something funny and we all laughed. He got embarrassed and said “Stop.” So we all stopped laughing and he says “stop” again. I look over and Lina is giving him this mischievous laughing face. Jonah is glaring at her. She just doesn’t get it. Can you say Doesn’t pick up on social cues and no cause and effect thinking? Eh-hem, FAS.

So now I sound like Kari. She is so good at noticing FAS behavior. Too many times I look at my kid and spend a couple seconds in an internal conversation about what could possibly be the problem here and what am I doing wrong in my parenting. If only I could remember immediately that this is not a parenting issue it’s a brain damage/emotional damage issue and I *am* working on it. And there is no easy fix. Heck, sometimes there is no fix but just managing it. I read a book one time (Flowers for Algernon?) in which a statement was made about not being able to “teach” the mentally retarded but they can be trained. A lot of my kids can’t make the connection between “The point of sweeping the floor is to get all the dirt up.” But they can be taught a certain system that guarantees every portion of that floor will be swept. They don’t need to know the theory behind the action, just the action. This is why routine and schedule is so important for them. They do great when EVERYTHING is the same. Several are fixated on having identical meals even. They’d love it if oats were on the menu every morning. It is a known. It is comfortable. So we try to teach the action not the purpose. We do explain the purpose but it is separated somewhat from the teaching of the action. And generally if the job is not done right we focus on the fact that the child did not do the job “Our way” as opposed to “the floor is not clean”. We know if they had done it our way it would be clean. Jacob is a perfect example of a drug exposed RAD kid. He knows better than us so he always tries to find a different way to do things but he is unable to fully comprehend the purpose of what we have told him to do so his system never works. But it doesn’t matter because next time he can get away with it he’ll try it his way again. So we watch them.

Onto daily news. Orthodontist for Jacob and John today. We were told “Come back in 18 months.” So different than the aggressive approach that the orthodontist in AZ wanted to take. We will wait and see.

Made banana bread care packages. Took pictures and will post those tomorrow. Also made pie crust dough and will attempt cheese Danish tomorrow. Cooking is such a great way for me to reconnect with the kids.

Tomorrow we head to the tea shop. The girls are excited.

Q&A

Momma said “Does coleslaw have some benefit besides the obvious good of the cabbage? My husband asked me. I also found a source for raw goat’s milk, but it is not tested like my Organic Pastures raw cow’s milk. Does kefiring it make it safer? I drank a couple of glasses and waited a day before serving it to the children, but my husband isn’t sure about that method!”

I don’t know…I mean I haven’t read anywhere that coleslaw is any better than regular cabbage.

Anonymous said “Love your blog you always give great tips. I am sad that you see your work with your children as a “battle we all fight forever”. Is it possible that he just lied to avoid being in trouble and then got caught in a lie? This is a very normal adolescent behavior. Children are not nice to our faces and then purposely different behind our backs. They are nice. They, as we all do, can slip into negative behaviors. Tomorrow is another day.”

I’m not sure what part you don’t get. I think I have posted enough links to other sites that should have covered the whole adoptive child issues thing pretty thoroughly. It *is* a battle we (as in me and Jeff and the child) will fight forever. Heck, the correctional system may someday get involved as well, who knows. They can help us fight. This is not a perception problem on my part. This is FACT. It has been documented over and over again. And if you chose to do a tiny bit of research on FAS and RAD you’d certainly learn that I am right.

Is it possible he lied to avoid getting in trouble? I suppose it is possible he lied to avoid getting in trouble. It is also possible that he lied for the fun of it. It might be possible he lied to see the shocked look in my eyes because the second story was nowhere near the first story and then the story evolved as I asked yet more questions.  But he held onto his innocence in the face of compelling evidence.  It is also possible he has no clue what the truth is (FAS)…or he doesn’t care what the truth is(RAD)…or he lies so often he has forgotten what the truth is(RAD). It is a possibility that he likes the adrenaline rush, or the attention or he likes to turn on the tears at a drop of a hat so he can play the martyr. All of those are possibilities. What is NOT a possibility is that this is “normal” behavior. Because it isn’t. I have 4 biological children and I know what it means to have a child with an inborn, pre-existing conscience. It is a world away from a child who has had his conscience stolen from him and will just as soon steal from you as give you a hug.

-

And yes, many many children ARE nice to our faces and purposely different behind our backs. Are you saying that my commenters and myself are lying or just delusional? When a child smiles at you and gives you hugs and tells you they love you all day long but then hides knives under their pillow and tells people at school they plan to kill you are they being nice? What would you think if a 4yo told you to your face they were going to kill you and then detailed HOW they would do it while you slept in your own bed? Would you still hold you naïve belief that all children are “nice”?

You clearly have never adopted a child with these problems. In fact, you have never read the links I posted here nor have you done ANY reading on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Reactive Attachment Disorder. Perhaps you should go get your foster care license and come back in 12 months. Then we can talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yours.

Comments

Oct. 30, 2007 – Adoption

Posted by marmieto12

I have been reading your blogs for awhile…I do not have any answers for the kid’s strange behaviors. But I can say with 6 adopted and I continue to do foster, I shake my head at some of the goofy things they can do. We have FAS, PDD, drug,the whole sha-bang!
Yes later I can laugh especially when I see I am not alone!
Blessings to you on this journey! :Laura

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Thanks for writing about your adopted kids. We have an adopted son…adopted as an older child. I see many, many similarities between him and your children. What my husband and I come down to to describe him is, no common sense. I guess it’s that lack of cause and effect thing going on.
It’s very, very difficult for us to not be sarcastic with him… in our minds we want to answer him with a big “DUH”. I know that is horrible sounding…but it’s true. It’s a test of our patience EVERY SINGLE DAY with him. I think the Lord gave him to us to teach us things about ourselves and to grow us. We also (after four years of having him) feel it will be a lifelong struggle with him…and constant focus in our lives to train him to think normally. There is a stark difference between the way he computes things in his brain compared to our bio kids. We often wonder what the problem is, and have to remind ourselves that he did not have a normal babyhood/toddlerhood/preschoolhood like our other children. It’s incredibly ignorant of us to *have* to ever wonder what is wrong with him…. but how quickly we forget.

Oct. 30, 2007 – She understands!

Posted by AcceptanceWithJoy

How refreshing to read a post about a mom who gets my life! My daughter has pFAS. Every single one of the things you have mentioned brought to mind a memory. My daughter is 15. Maturity works on some of those behavior. Certainly not all…
Just yesterday in church they were dedicating babies and a boy, probably about two, was up with his parents while his baby sister was being presented. He wanted to get down and was fussy. Marissa leaned over, “That boy keeps looking at me and scowling.” HUH? We are in a sanctuary with 400-500 people and this little boy is looking out over all those people and deciding he has it out for you?
I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now; I know you are way more consistent than I am… but I have to say that my daughter’s behavior cycles are mostly about me. I am structured, planned and on task (very much against my true nature); therefore things go well. I breathe a huge sigh of relief and allow my daughter more freedoms, take more time to myself, let the routine become less structured and more spontaneous… well, you get the picture ~ Blessings!

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by amysconfections

I’m sure that’s really tough to deal with day in and day out. But, you and your husband are doing what’s best by providing a loving and caring environment. Have you heard about using Glyconutrients to help with FAS. I watched a Dr. speak on this. His topic was on stem cells and glyconutrients. I was very impressed with the findings of their research. Please don’t think I’m pushing Glyconutrients. But, after watching this lecture and hearing the research prove that a FAS child got better and even lost some of the facial features associated with FAS I was shocked!

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Musicmommy3

I think I may be getting what you are saying.
Sometimes I read your posts and think, “but my bio boys do some of those thing too.” or “you can’t tell me that you don’t deal with behavioral probs with your bio kids too.”
I think this post cleared some of that up for me. I have done some research on FAS and RAD before (friends of mine adopted and I wanted to understand some things). For me, I’m beginning to look at it like this…One of my boys (all of mine are bio) has a blame mentality. EVERYTHING is someone else’s fault. If he trips over something it’s not “oops I didn’t see that.” it’s “YOU shouldn’t have bought this house.” (rolling my eyes) Also, one of my sons is a lot like Lina. He just pushes the limits to everything. Over and over. You’d think he just didn’t get it, but the difference is- he does get it. I know he does. He is just very stubborn and michevious. The difference I thought about today though was, my kids don’t have FAS or RAD so they can be trained out of their improper behavior. (we are working on that! lol) I don’t have to wonder how many brain cells were hurt or wonder if they will ever really get it. I do still think at times that it is like a battle to raise our boys. I do still wonder if I am the worst parent on the planet when I see behavior come out that we have been working to change. However, I am assuming that another difference btwn my kids and yours is the sheer amount of times a day “behavior” happens to you.
I have to say Katie that you are really doing a wonderful job. When I read your boys’ blogs I see evidence of a loving mom and dad who are making their lives not only physically better but immensly richer in the spiritual and family areas as well. God bless you on your journey through motherhood with ALL your kids.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Christian Behavior?

Posted by Sarah

“Then we can talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yours. ”
Nice.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Jensgang

Just wanted to say that we all miss you at the Shed! The board seems a bit dull now :D
Also d you ever have to deal with issues from your bio kids?

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Amanda in Springfield

I’ve read up on those conditions a bit too and I”m sure it’s a struggle to face the same things day in and day out. My 9 year old son has Tourettes and OCD and we have some of those issues you posted about like not accepting that he misunderstood something. Along with constant humming, head shaking, throat clearing. It is definitely a test of patience You’re doing a great job!

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anon

Katie,
I feel for you. My cousins daughter ended up being taken from here due to neglect and she’s been in foster care for about 2 years. We had plans on adopting her but, they were very negative about us having 8 bio children. The foster parents also allowed her to call them “mom” and “dad” so the psychologist said it would be too hard on her to leave due to her diagnosis of RAD. They deal with the same problems that you do with your children. It is a battle much like raising my bio children can be a battle, just in different ways. Praise be to God for those that step out to help these children.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Tammee in MO

Posted by Anonymous

Wow Katie – of the 8 we have adopted they all deal with “lots” of these same issues. As I was reading this post I was saying that sounds like so and so, that sounds like so and so, but 1, our oldest son 16 adopted at 8, is John and Jacob combined. I can relate to “everything” you said about those two. He changes his chores constantly to his way(even if it makes them harder) – he steals – he lies – but he is the one constantly saying “can I have a hug”, “I love you” and I think how can you! The blanket thing is so classic – I am at fault for all their shortcomings, especially the 16 yo! I will say stop doing that or you will go to bed – child will go to bed and start bawling, and this one is almost 12 adopted at 2, I will say why are you crying and why are you in bed? Answer – “you said go to bed!” You can let said 16 yo do something different once and even state this is just this once because of said time constraints or whatever and he will still keep doing it that way and when confronted on it he will say you said to do it this way – and HE ALWAYS BELIEVES “EVERYTHING” HE SAYS AND NOTHING YOU SAY – he will tell me “I am trying to trick him into lying or to get him in trouble, I don’t love him, I never loved him, I never wanted him, I love everybody else better, so and so does this and doesn’t get in trouble!” and this is all at the top of his lungs and I have been listening to it for 8 years now.
I have raised 4 bio daughters 20, 21, 23, and 24 and yes some of the behaviors are the same but the difference is your bios generally learn from their mistakes and move on these kids don’t, because they never did anything wrong in the first place. Routine, routine, routine – nothing can change or they are off track. I have one at 15 that I moved the windex on(not on purpose) and he could not find it because it was not right there!! It was about 8 inches away to the left – but he swore we didn’t have any because it was not right there, his day would have been ruined because he could not clean his glasses to start school! This is one child who you honestly could put a box in his path and he would never think to go around it, he would stay there staring at the box! I agree with Katie if you have never adopted a RAD or FAS child you have no clue to this – even a child adopted without these issues would be so different! Most people I know will not adopt a RAD or FAS child because they are so tough! My 10yo son adopted at 14 months is the least effected now (he still has learning problems) but when we got him he would awaken every night at 11pm screaming and then he was up until 6 am. He also woke from naps screaming! He did this the first 6 months.

Oct. 30, 2007 – While I agree….

Posted by heartwomb

I also find for myself that I need to keep in check how much I keep putting labels on my kids. You know…all that psycho babble… Sometimes that can be just as harmful to how we react to them or how they feel about themselves. When I am faced with these same types of issues (trust me I have them!) I try to not expect that the behavior will always be there and the child will never change. Maybe I misunderstood but that seemed to come across in your post? I truly believe my role in these situations is to help rewire that child’s perception as I think you are meaning as well. The difference I think I am hearing is that you believe they will always be this way and I do not. This difference could possibly be that you have had older adoptions correct? Although I would not agree when it comes down to your little Lina and the younger ones as you have more time with them under your influence.
I have seen HUGE changes in my children as I work with each and this gives me hope that someday they will be able to make choices and actions properly. I do think the level of what we see in the labels you choose (FAS or RAD) depends some on the child’s own natural learning styles as well. Again I find myself having to be very careful not to automatically label my kid before I make sure that I have considered whether the way I told, shared etc to the child to do ABC was taking in consideration on how they learn. My child who gives me the most behavior problems (many like you explained here!) is a very visual learner. Verbal comprehension is pretty much a given that it will not go over well! He is very hands on which can get him in to trouble when not supervised at all times. HOWEVER, he also is very intelligent, warm hearted, extremely musically talented and so on…. Yup, he pushes all the buttons and he is the one that I want to sarcastically say DUH!! at times as the other poster said. He has also been my hardest child to bond with. Our personalities clash big time but the weird thing is he is the very kid that when put in a social setting steals everyone’s hearts and does the best behavior wise. That is my ray of hope! Now if I can just get him to the step of thinking through his actions before he acts upon them and getting him past his insecurities that I believe are the root to many of his misbehaviors.
Like yours all of my kids seem to take two steps backwards every time we have major changes in the house or routine. All my children have anxiety issues. A move would cause the bedwetting, potty mistakes and everything else that goes with the territory to resurface. Once things calm down from the change I notice their behavior does as well. To me during these changes is a chance to show that child reassurance and to teach them to learn to trust through my loving reassurance. I’m curious of your opinion on where you find that balance between just letting them know they can trust again and getting the child to understand his wrong perception?
**I hope I was able to articulate my questions without offense Katie. You know I am right there with you on these issues! It’s great being able to relate to someone else who’s btdt. For the commenter, who’s name also happens to be Sarah, I think I do have PTSD after my adoptions!!! :-P I don’t believe Katie was joking or being mean when she said that. It’s reality! Adopting dc with a lot of baggage, especially older dc, is not easy and no one should go into it lightly. It’s only by the grace of God that I can keep a level head some days and other days it’s only by the grace of God that I can pick myself up after losing my level head!

Oct. 30, 2007 – I don’t know…

Posted by Jana

…if I should thank you or cry. Yes, we see a mixture of these behaviors in our boys. I know I don’t always deal with it well because my mind isn’t totally wrapped around what they can and cannot do with their swiss cheese like brains.
And yes, there will always be doubting and judgmentalness from people who don’t understand and haven’t walked a block, much less a mile, in these shoes. So goes it.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Amen Amen

Posted by cheprbyddozn

“You clearly have never adopted a child with these problems. In fact, you have never read the links I posted here nor have you done ANY reading on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Reactive Attachment Disorder. Perhaps you should go get your foster care license and come back in 12 months. Then we can talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yours.”
Amen Katie! This is sooooooooooooooooo true. And Hey people commenting you ARE in Katie’s space. Unless you KNOW first hand or have a Phd in FAS or RAD you can NEVER know. These things Katie’s saying are sooooooooo very true. I lieve with two FAS’ers four autistic and 1 with RAD and 1 with PTSD. Everything she says is so amazing to me because I never knew anyone else dealt lith this on a daily basis as we do. It’s like pouring your love into a kid that is a collander. Does that child have worth OF COURSE Maybe you should be glad GOd didn’t call you to this work. It is hard and venting about it and expressing feelings is a necessary part. Criticism is just funny to me. It is out of complete IGNORANCE that criticism comes.
THE END
(Sorry Katie I will get off my soap box)
Cecelia

Oct. 30, 2007 – Thank you!

Posted by Heidi

It always does me good to hear other stories from the trenches. Sad but true about PTSD — most moms would never knowingly sign up for such a thing. Myself included.
Quote: …we focus on the fact that the child did not do the job “Our way” as opposed to “the floor is not clean”.
I must remember that one! Thank you!
OT question — what kind of dog do you have? One of ours looks like her, though not brindled.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Help….

Posted by Countrygirl153

It seems as if having this amount of adopted children maybe taking a toll on you. To be honest every single behavior you spoke about with exception to the knife incident my “bio” children have exhibited at one time or another. I have no illusions that FAS is not very real and difficult. But you were given these children as gifts and promised to treat them as your own. I think if you spent a little less time making excuses for their behavior (FAS) and sometimes just thought of it as a child’s behavior you might get better results. Although you do receive money from the state and these children could be in counseling, I don’t know if you believe in that. I am a certified counselor and I would be happy to locate some in your area that specializes in FAS. You’re a great mom and we all can see that.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Thank you, Katie! I appreciate sharing you reality. There is another blog I read that shares all the daily dirt of FAS, if I get time, I will come back to share the link. I have a RADish myself, so I understand that too.
S.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Cecelia

Posted by Anonymous

I was not criticizing I was offering my opinion/suggestion. Katie thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I do have two FAS children in my life. Although I don’t agree with you on this there are many things you have taught me and inspired me through your blog.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Maybe you should be glad GOd didn’t call you to this work

Posted by Anonymous

The lord also gave us free will.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Mommaofmany

I have three adopted children, who were drug exposed, abused, neglected and have some resulting medical issues…but nothing emotional. They are loving, compliant and understand consequences, etc. as well as my five bio. Lambies.
I fostered for five years before adopting and for the majority of that time, I had teenagers, many of whom were RAD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for the foster/adopt parent is RIGHT!
I had one foster daughter re-enter my life last week (I just blogged a bit about it!) and that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach returned within three days. If I hadn’t gotten her into that program, she would not have been allowed to stay another night. She was starting with the old accusations, the lies, the “you never loved me” looks, etc.
She came to us, pregnant again and homeless, and the: you don’t do enough for her attitude…you don’t HAVE to help me if you don’t want to….(add a dramatic sigh)…like we haven’t done everything we could think of to help her just to have her walk away every single time…back to drugs and s*x and homelessness.
Sigh…
Another foster son just tracked me down and is calling my friends several times a day trying to wrest my (changed) phone number from them. He remembered their number from years ago… I have written him by e-mail, but it isn’t enough for him…Doesn’t he remember what happened here and how he hurt our family? I don’t really want him to know anything about us! I certainly don’t want to be friends. He had many s*xual issues….not want I want around my Lambies!
You are doing a great job, Katie. Even if we had been able to adopt some of those more difficult kids (most were long-term foster care/unadoptable), we would have declined. I can’t imagine having those behaviors all day, every day. I’m so thankful that our adopted children came to us much less damaged. You and your husband are heroes in my eyes, and more importantly, doing what Christ called you to. Day in and day out.
Blessings to you and yours,
Momma

Oct. 30, 2007 – RAD kids ARE different

Posted by Barbara T.

I think that many posters just don’t understand RAD, FAS, and the issues that children who have been neglected/abused have.
The difference between children with RAD and typical children is in the frequency, intensity, and duration of their behavior. Comparing a child with RAD to a typical child is like comparing a race car to a regular passenger car. RAD kids take everything to a new level.
I have a bio child, children adopted as older kids that have RAD or RAD/FAS, children adopted as older kids that do not have RAD, and children adopted as newborns. The children adopted at birth, the adopted children without RAD, and the bio child all behave in one manner while the children with RAD behave in another.
Katie, I really appreciate the glimpses into your life. I hear your frustration and I know your pain. I also hear you saying that you aren’t giving up and that these children are as dear to you as the ones you gave birth to.
Many of my friends and family have not understood that my children have actual brain damage and have been critical of me and my parenting. After all, the kids are always good in small doses and every one of them is charming.
However, after they have kept them for a weekend or had them work for them, they begin to sing another tune. They start to understand that these kids are just not wired in a typical manner.
I would like to print off your last two blog entries and share them with some family members. I will, of course, give you full credit as the author. Would this be acceptable to you?
Barbara

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

WOW! I know that Katie can (and most likely will, LOL) speak for herself, but through Katie’s posts here and at the Shed, I can say that she is *THE LAST* person to like labels for kids. No matter how you slice it, FAS/FAE and RAD(ishes) are different kids because of how their brains work. Just as a kid with cerebral palsy can’t change how their body moves, the RADishes and FAS kids can’t change how their brains work. The key here is that they can all be trained to do these things in the most normal way possible, with lots of patience and practice and consistency.
What I am taking from Katie’s post is not that she is labeling the child, but that she is identifying the source of the problem. If a child isn’t folding laundry correctly, after rigorous training, you need to find where the flaw is and fix it. In the case of FAS, it is not fixable, it just takes a resurgence of determination to buckle down on training and to change the results.
Is Katie overwhelmed? Really, I don’t think it is any of our business, but look at it this way: house full of kids (who cares the number, most claim to be overwhelmed with 2 in this country), just moved half way across the country, child battling cancer and keeping it away so far, pg, homeschooling, cooking and planning healthy meals regularly…I daresay that she might be right now, as are the kids, and that is probably the source of the flare ups! That doesn’t change that those kids are precious. We all have our crappy days (forgive me if that language is too edgy for here!). This is Katie’s journal for her to share with us as she chooses. I am thankful for the privilege to read all of it, the good/bad/ugly. Just an off day doesn’t change my mind that the adoption of those cute little J’s is the best thing she could have done.
I may be over-reacting, but I think some of the comments above mine are a bit rude. I don’t know Katie personally, have never met her or talked by phone. I do believe, however, that she has done the best for her kids, bio or adopted, and she continues to search and learn for better.
S. (again)

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

“When a child smiles at you and gives you hugs and tells you they love you all day long but then hides knives under their pillow and tells people at school they plan to kill you are they being nice? What would you think if a 4yo told you to your face they were going to kill you and then detailed HOW they would do it while you slept in your own bed? Would you still hold you naïve belief that all children are “nice”?
This behavior is not a sign or effect of FAS/RAD I belive your blog and the commenter were fefering to FAS/RAD.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Wow!

Posted by Anonymous

I don’t know about anyone else but I am concerned for these children. It sounds as though you took on way more than you can handle. Why did you adopt so many if you are having such a hard time rasing them?
I do have another question? Do you feel like you are adaquately feeding your children? All of the kids look under nourished including your bio children. Is it because you don’t have the time to prepare all their meals? A religious thing? Surely you can afford proper meals with all the government funds you get huh? Is with holding food a punishment for them now being perfect? It’s really sad they aren’t allowed even a snack.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Tammee in MO!

Posted by Anonymous

Those of you who constantly complain and chastise here – why don’t you go read somewhere else – come on – get a life! Those of us leading a similar life enjoy knowing we are not alone! We like hearing about situations and how others deal with the same issues we deal with! Do you need help on where the delete button is? I have never seen more hateful rude people on someone else’s blog!

Oct. 30, 2007 – Hey there, Katie…

Posted by stackeyha

It’smee!!!
I didn’t realize some of this stuff. I’ve never known what RAD or FAS stood for, until now.
I will say that some of what you describe really does sound like some of the stuff my bio kids do…Bear is a serious repeater as one case in point…she also won’t stop stuff unless I stay right on top of her…so I’m thinking that what I and other mom’s of only bios are missing is the intensity of the behaviors you describe.
Regarding the knife thing…is this something that you think could actually happen? Is there a way to prevent or cure that type of disconnect so that you aren’t faced with potential violence? Just interested in the info, if you’ve got any.
I’m back to where I can’t post comments on Homesteadblogger again…but I’m trying to do some cook along stuff with you…I have pics of chicken stock…but can’t figure out how to get them off my camera, goofball that I am.
To the poster who questioned the nourishment of the children pictured on this blog…HUH? Have you LOOKED at Donut…he is deliciously tubby. Lina has cutie pie chubby cheeks, Jessica is flat out beautiful, Jenna and Junie look an awful lot like their skinny mini momma (and completely adorable)…and all the boys look strong and active…a couple look like they are growing into their limbs…but that is kind how growing is…you get a round…then a little tall…then a little ganglie…they look pretty normal to me. And Jillie is the amazing, beautiful, bald,recovering from cancer dolly…she is a little skinny…but last I heard she’s gaining. So, what on earth was that ridiculous comment about, really?
As ever…praying for one an all.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Nicole aka Anon

Anonymous,
I’m certainly not concerned for Katie’s children. She seems to be doing a fine job. There are plenty of parents who have 1, or even 2 children, who have some of the same stuggles and can feel just as exhausted! It’s part of parenting.
I have a sneaky suspicion that since the Bettendorf’s are a counter cultural family, they get targeted by certain individuals who have obvious biases towards certain families. It’s a shame, really.
BTW Katie, your kids look plenty healthy. But, I’m sure you know that already :)

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by debhmom3

Wow. I guess I am just surprised at all the nasty comments. Till I read the comments it never even occurred to me that anyone would think she was making excuses for her children’s behavior because of their pre-existing conditions? Huh? It just sounded like a mom venting her particular child rearing circumstances. We all have challenges and need to vent sometimes. And adoptive parents have a different set of challenges than those who are not. Are you only allowed to blog if your day went great? Seems to defeat the purpose of having a place to put your thoughts down. I realize that sounds as nasty as the people I was just complaining about, sorry.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Jazzy

I cannot believe all of the rude comments here. If you disagree with Katie’s child rearing techniques or do not like what she is saying, go read someone else’s blog. Why the nastiness???
Katie, you seem like a great mom and your children look happy and healthy to me. Thank you for shedding light on the FAS/RAD disorders. I think the information you are providing will be helpful to many.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Nicole aka Anon

Posted by Anonymous

That “counter cultural” comment was random and had not even been refered to AT ALL. Seriously talk about get a life.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by SeekingJESUSnTeachingKIDS

I always read and love your blog. Each time I love the way you parent and I know I can learn something from a lady with so many kids-lol. I also think all the kids look great and well cared for (not sure what anom. was referring too) I think all the projects and work you have the kids do is great! As far as your “ya so” sentence. You will NEVER get that from me. I had 2 stepkids for 8 years (the bio mom had little to with them for the first 6 except to cause trouble, then the last 2 caused a lot of trouble) They were passive rebellious and did so many things that people would say “ya so” (example: talking to 7 year old, “go get your black church shoes” child returns with white tennis shoes” sigh. And yes mom I will do this or that for you and then never does. sigh again. I dealt with much lying, stealing, mean behavior, manipulating, etc… There are many examples, but you get the idea. MANY people harshly judged me and were not afraid to share their opinion. Apparently they thought since they weren’t my bio kids they could. No one ever said anything but good stuff about how I parented my 5 bio kids. hhhumm Let your husband and you be the one who decide what is best for YOUR children. God knows you heart. Also those who comment in a rude and prideful manner have no clue what it’s like and speak out of ignorance. As far as the one who says that maybe you have too many kids -ignore them (which I know you know;) I hear so many Moms with 1 child completely overwhelmed, I try not to roll my eyes and just be gracious-lol. Your kids are all beautiful and are well cared for by you and Jeff and it is apparent in every post. Keep up the good work!! I love all the pictures too
:>Michelle

Oct. 30, 2007 – in defense of the bettendorfs

Posted by Anonymous2

this is a beautiful family and katie and jeff are wonderful parents to care for so many children. undernourished–hardly. the children looked well-cared for and healthy to me.
another thing–i do not homeschool–partly because my children are 3 and 1 , i have not homebirthed, and i do not have children who have fetal alcohol syndrome or reactive attachment disorder. i have not adopted nor have i cared for foster children. i am in no position to judge katie or jeff and how they choose to raise and care for their children. so if you have anything negative to say, take it elsewhere. this is katie’s blog–respect her space and take the negativity elsewhere.
Much love to you and your family, katie. and God bless.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Jiminy Christmas, someone touched a NERVE….

Posted by Alisha

Katie, Katie, Katie,
God love ya, I see in all of your posts the genuine concern for all of your children. The meals you prepare, the morals you teach, your marriage, the skills that you are teaching are so inspiring.
That said, when you try to explain RAD or FAS symptoms to people who have no clue what it is, you are going to get disbelief. Or people will think you are a liar. And a life ago, I would think the same thing. But I know better, living it everyday. This is a road not meant for idiots, or people who smile like a dolt, pretending things aren’t crazy, while their child suffers…and your guys have suffered for sure. I think my son acts out when things at home are NOT chaotic. (you know how our FAS, RAD kids love them some chaos…) I have also heard many times about seasonal allergies (for us in MO its worst in October and May) can trigger some really weird, manic behavior in our kids.
So, I guess what I want to say is, anytime, anywhere, if you need to vent about the tragedy of pregnant women who drink or the idiots who decide its best to rotate the little guys every couple of weeks while in foster care,,,,(for the uneducated, that, among other things results in RAD!!) I’ll sure listen.
There is a good RAD therapist in St. Louis. We used her for our child, also adopted, and made LOTS
of progress with him. Her name is Dr. Margaret Taylor. She was a god-send. I know its too far for the kids to see her weekly, but she has lots of peers, whose focus is RAD. I’ll see if I can’t get some info for you.
Take care of yourself…and realize some of your words here are but pearls before swine.
Alisha Rottger

Oct. 30, 2007 – So

Posted by Anonymous

“What is NOT a possibility is that this is “normal” behavior. Because it isn’t. I have 4 biological children and I know what it means to have a child with an inborn, pre-existing conscience.”
I guarantee your bio children exhibit these same behaviors maybe your too busy singling out the others to notice. If not they should probably be featured in a medical book, for perfection.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Amy

I don’t have any FAS experience, but I do know the family has been through a lot this year, and with a move on top of that I would be wigging out too! Maybe it’s just all catching up with them and they are figuring out how to cope. Prayers!!!

Oct. 30, 2007 – Katie

Posted by Nicole (UnschoolingMama)

While I sometimes don’t always agree with the “tone” of your posts, I read them because you inspire me. You and Jeff are doing an outstanding job with these children!!!
——-I guarantee your bio children exhibit these same behaviors maybe your too busy singling out the others to notice. If not they should probably be featured in a medical book, for perfection.——–
You know, it’s so easy to make a judgement call like this. I have run into people who snap to judge my own parenting of 5 adopted (and 1 foster child) on almost a daily basis. Unless you have parented a child with FASD or RAD, you cannot understand. They ARE different than children who have had a “normal” begin to life (drug-free parents, no domestic violence, etc, etc). The things Katie is posting may seem mudane, and silly. Why label these children? Because at least THEN we have answers to why our children do these mundane, silly, average child things over and over and over and over and over. There is no cause and effect. The things you teach a birth child you don’t have to teach 1,000 times before they “get” it, IF they ever get it.
I’ve never read a post where Katie treats her adopted children differently than her bio. They are all given the same care, love and chances to succeed.
It’s hard. Pray for Katie. While you’re at it, go adopt a child yourself instead of criticizing those of us who’ve taken on these beautiful children because you won’t…

Oct. 30, 2007 – thank you

Posted by Melissa

thank you for the glimpse into your beautiful family. You inspire me to be a better mother to my own children.
Please ignore the nastiness. It is most likely one very bored, bitter person with too much time on their hands.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Another lurker chiming in! ;)

Posted by Janette

Please don’t even dignify those ugly remarks with a response, Katie. While we may have differing views on some issues, there has never been a moment when I’ve ever thought you weren’t providing the absolute best environment for your children.
God Bless,
Janette

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Katie, THANK YOU for taking these children into your home, loving them, and doing your best for them.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Jes

I am inspired by you, I have 5 bio very normal kiddos that make me crazy! You are doing a great job mom! And I smiled reading your name – thanks for reminding me that we are a team! come and visit me for some chuckles!

Oct. 30, 2007 – adopted children

Posted by Brenda

I am saddened at the attack you have taken on your own blog. I have adopted 10 children and have 4 biological children. I understand the different behaviors children have and that sometimes we can’t do anything to change how they are (I also have FAS, RAD, and drug effects). I have a daughter in particular who came to mind as I read your post. You know that a lot of people are ignorant to what we go through and so they cannot start to wrap their brains around how difficult it is. The blessings and rewards are just as incredible. I hope you stay strong through this and try to overlook what you can.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Just chiming in…

Posted by SusannahCox

to say, you go, Katie! :) You are the best thing to ever happen to these children…all of them. You really are an inspiration. And no, they do not look undernourished (wha???), but quite well-loved and cared for.
It’s good for us to see your struggles sometimes. I know when you moved, you really accentuated the positives and your posts were all upbeat. I was also sure you were dealing with a lot of stress you, quite bravely, didn’t complain about. Moving is stressful even when you’re single and childless! Cancer, then moving, plus kids with RAD/FAS, plus the breakdowns, plus you-name-it–I was praying for you, gal.
I know in my heart I could never parent children with these issues. I am so glad for their sake that there are people like you in this world who are both called and willing. I can relate in some small ways. As I was reading your post, I couldn’t help thinking “Uh oh! Are my bio kids brain-damaged too?” Eek! I knew it couldn’t possibly be FAS ;) but I, too, have kids who walk right over things, trip and fall, interpret things over-literally, have odd verbal expressions, and just plain exhibit zero common sense. I often ask my husband, “Is there some point at which I will no longer have to supply every single bit of common sense *for* them??” But then I read a few of the comments and “whew”–apparently this behavior somewhat common to childhood, but in FAS/RAD kids, intense to the max and much harder to correct and train for because of the physical changes to the brain.
It’s interesting to read about; must be far more “interesting” to live.

Oct. 30, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by leemomofthree

Wow! What struggles face you each and every day. You are the best things that has happened to those children and they are SO blessed to have you. You are doing an amazing job–DON”T ever doubt that, OK?
I first encountered all you are talking about regarding RAD with a friend who adopted 5 children.. Her children did/do so much of what you are saying, including the trying to kill them or detailing how they would. It is so scary and sad to think about all that happened , or should I say didn’t happen, when these guys were younger. I amount of damage that is done at such an early age (2 or 3 yrs old in her case) was unbelievable.
She too has a biological child, who is wonderful. The bhvr problems, at least this type, aren’t there. What is also interesting, she adopted a siblings that was still a baby and he is doing so great. There was some damage done in the those first 6-8 months, but he is so much better off since we was still so young.
You deserve a medal of honor and the title saint! You are amazing! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Those that do, don’t have a clue!!!
Have a great Wednesday!

Dec. 4, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Katie, I am a mother of ONE fas/rad teenager. And I can appreciate every single thing you are dealing with. It especially bothers me when a councelor responds that you have taken on more than you can handle. My two grown bio-kids were nothing compared to the “no common sense” child I have now. And it really irks me when people say,”that is just being a teenager…” I know the differance between them….And if people think the younger years are rough….wait until they hit puberty…Now I know what PTSD really is. THANKS again…I can send your blog to my family so they can see it is not just me…the mean old mom…..

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Related posts:

1. ADOPTION DATE!!!
2. Interrupting… an Educational Post Instead of Humor Tonight (Sorry Karyn)
3. Post Court Visit With Jerusha.

You all know what restitution is right? When you have to pay back someone in deed or money for some misdeed you did? Well, one of my kiddoes is learning first hand what restitution looks like. This son of mine was playing with a toy of someone else’s (and the kids don’t have many personal possessions so this is a big deal). When the someone else left the room and returned several minutes later she was handed a toy that was now broken. Hmmmm… can anyone guess what happened? Of course my son denies any wrong doing on his part and claims he has no idea what happened. Only thing is this child is very bright and observant. I am SURE he knows what befell the toy. To make matters worse upon questioning he had one story and upon further questioning the story changed completely. Something is not adding up.

It makes me very sad to see the state of his heart. Do you adoptive parents ever have incidents that make you think “Why do I bother? Why did I just invest blank number of years in this kid only to have him/her continue the same behaviors they had when I got them?” What’s the point? Of course I quickly snap back to reality and know that these children would be FAR worse if I had not invested (almost) tirelessly in children that came to me damaged and continue to bare the scars of the abuse and neglect that happened at such a young age.

Don’t get me wrong. Kids are super resilient. If you let your baby cry it out you are not going to have these problems. This was severe year in and year out complete neglect that the human brain just can’t recover from. There are certain things that must happen at certain times and if those windows are missed…well, they are gone forever. Conscience is one of those things. It can be recovered if lost in infancy/childhood but the road is a long hard one. For the child and for the caregiver.

Did I mention that behaviors escalate during holidays and special occasions? They do. If you give them an inch they take a mile, as the old saying goes. So any good time you have with them you have to watch out for the fall out. It makes the fun less fun, if you know what I mean. And then you never know when the child is being kind and sweet to your face only so they can trick you into a false sense of security and be naughty when you are not looking. Typical attachment disorder behavior. So predictable but each time I am so shocked. Why can’t I take my own advice and remember that the work never ends. This will be a battle we all fight forever. These children will always have the odds stacked against them. What a sad prospect for a mom to face.

In other news:

We skipped church again. I think Jeff has decided that he will try the church before we drag everyone there. This is a good plan. We met a very nice woman and three of her children at JoAnn’s the other day. She has 9 children (yes Vicki, you know them) and they have been home churching but that recently dissolved. Bummer man. They are kinda in limbo as well and she mentioned sending her dh to church hunt. Great idea. We did watch Mark Martin and that as very fun.

Instead we stayed home and I knit while other people did other things. Jeff traded in an office chair he bought for a better one. Jessica worked on her embroidery. Jacob cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. I think everyone else just ran amuck. I do know tonight I started some beans in the roaster oven (our crockpot is too small) and it smelled downright yummy. We’ll be having those for breakfast.

Tomorrow we have the orthodontist for John and Jacob and then Tuesday I am taking Jill and Lina to the tea house and Wednesday and is the chiropractor and Thursday is milk pick up day and Friday is the midwife. Whew!! I am starting to feel like Susannah. We may take off school, you think?

Q&A

4sweetums, Um, yep. He had already tried the urination tactic earlier. How is it that a child that just went to the bathroom can soak himself 3 minutes later? Hmmm… I bet you know the answer. Notice the tile he is standing on? That was intentional.

Anonymous, the book shelves were purchased at Home Depot long ago and I think they were intended for a garage. We had them in our closet under the stairs in AZ. With regard to the books falling off the ends, in my perfect world I would know where the book ends are that we own and we would be using those but in my reality we put heavier books on the ends and hope no one moves them creating an avalanche of literature.

Diane, I am NOT making capes for anyone anymore. It was an easy but terribly boring thing to make. I am open to making matching Christmas dresses for your 3 youngest girls. You let me know.

Leemomofthree, Jillian is unmoved by her new hair. She has asked numerous times if we can shave her head when her hair comes back so she will never have to brush it. Now she has also made plans to buy beautiful hair bows when her hair is long enough. I bet she will get used to the idea of having hair again.

Glowschooling, I guess the hat is made in stockinette as it is all knit on one side and purl on the other. I’m sure there are other stitches you can do with the knifty knitter but I don’t know how to do them.

Anon, I’m not sure what gave you the idea that we have our grocery spending under control.  Define control. I guess it is under control in that we don’t try to keep it down and we are aware of about what we spend.   I believe that our emotional and physical health begins with what we put in our mouths so I take my job of nourishing my family very seriously. You can learn more about how we try to eat on my cook along blog or by reading www.westonaprice.org Of course we do splurge and eat out as well but we try to make it a sit down place and not Taco Bell. I have seen people post their weekly menu on their side bar. I’d love to do that if only I knew how! I’ll ask Jeff about that. I am needing a remodel anyway.

Stefanie, your amusement at my child’s antics reminded me to laugh about it as well. It wasn’t very funny when it happened. Although that is more pleasant than other things we have found in the corner.

Comments

Oct. 29, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Mommaofmany

Katie…wow! I don’t know how you find time to sew so much! I made coleslaw for the first time, and it came out pretty good. The saurkraut is mellowing in the fridge. We haven’t tried it yet.
Does coleslaw have some benefit besides the obvious good of the cabbage? My husband asked me. I also found a source for raw goat’s milk, but it is not tested like my Organic Pastures raw cow’s milk. Does kefiring it make it safer? I drank a couple of glasses and waited a day before serving it to the children, but my husband isn’t sure about that method!
I love the shot of the child standing in the open due to licking the corner. I have one that cries when in the corner and snorts big boogies out. EEWW!! That child gets to clean the boogie and then other walls when she’s done that!
When we eat out, it is a sit down place, as well. I should say, most of the time. Anyone in Fresno, CA needs to eat at Colorado Grill. It has the very best out-to-eat hamburgers ever! It used to be called Fatburger, if that gives a clue to its delectability!
I hope you have a great week!
Blessings,
Momma

Oct. 29, 2007 – Kids….

Posted by Carrie

I have been reading your blog for a long time and never post a comment but had to today because I felt like I had written this post. I adopted a sibling group of five girls with all the usual foster care toppings…attachment disorder, fetal alcohol, meth (and I’m sure other drugs of choice), neglect, abuse..and the list could really go on. I will pray for you. Even when tomato staking the kids can do things you don’t see because they watch you like a CIA agent. They know the second you will turn away and then…boom!!! I HAVE to laugh about it on a regular basis or I would cry. I am lucky my sister has 14 kiddos (10 adopted) so we laugh together and she reminds me how little of a family I really have (6 children (1 bio)). Just thought I would say hello. We also moved to the country from Las Vegas to Texas and it has been fun but different. It has been 10 months now and it is becoming more like home but it has been hard. Las Vegas has no weather and when I came here last December I was in all the ice storms, snow, and many tornado warnings (it wasn’t even tornado season). Well, have a great day!

Oct. 29, 2007 – I can totally relate

Posted by cheprbyddozn

However, I was suprised that you were bold enough to write about it. My B is beginning the bad behaviors in full force…He even Peed under his bed when he was angry at me. He is stomping off a lot…and to add to my shock is that he is getting more bold as he gets older. He adds up the IMB’s and he is staked to me constantly. He can play alone OR he can be WITH me. It’s pretty tough right now and this is our first year without medication of any sort. My other ones don’t really have any issues.
Cecelia

Oct. 29, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Boy I can relate… 2 of mine are FASling RADishes. One of them wears me out more than the all the other children combined! Before I entered the adoption world, I just had no idea… Wow…
God Bless,
Laura in KY
http://www.quiltofgrace.blogspot.com

Oct. 29, 2007 – Sad

Posted by Anonymous

Love your blog you always give great tips. I am sad that you see your work with your children as a “battle we all fight forever”. Is it possible that he just lied to avoid being in trouble and then got caught in a lie? This is a very normal adolescent behavior. Children are not nice to our faces and then purposely different behind our backs. They are nice. They, as we all do, can slip into negative behaviors. Tomorrow is another day.

Oct. 29, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous2

you’re a great mom, katie. as i’ve said before, you’re an inspiration. keep on keeping on. some days it takes all the energy i have to keep up with my one year old and three and a half year old. :)

Oct. 29, 2007 – Do not grow weary in doing good….

Posted by Anonymous

I laugh I cry, I feel your pain( bio mom to 4 chose 9 fetal alcohol/meth chidren) thank-you for your honesty & your continued striving to do the right thing for your kids. You never know something just might click. LOL
Blessings,
Alaina

Oct. 29, 2007 – Testitution and conscience

Posted by Stan53

Katie,
I liked your comment about window of opportunity. We missed some of those with DD1 and are now paying for it.
Vigilance as a parent is so important.
Stan53 from the shed

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Post written Monday, October 22nd.

This weather is amazing. Yesterday it was 81 degrees and HOT. I actually cut some of the science lesson short (seat work) because the heat made thinking unbearable. Today we are supposed to have a high of 52 and boy does it feel it. I left the windows open as long as I could. I love airing the house out. In Germany it is standard practice to leave windows cracked even all through the winter. I closed the main windows in the livingroom and flipped on the fireplace. So those that are chilly can play closer to the fire. In my new house we’ll have a wood burning stove. It is just downright cozy and I am considering making myself some REAL hot cocoa with milk, cocoa and stevia. YUM!!

Other things we did yesterday.  Embroidery.

Jessica is making a muslin bag to put our sourdough rolls in.  They keep on the counter, without refrigeration, for at least a week.

Junie is making a bag that says “Bread”.

And before anyone asks Jillian is also doing embroidery work.  She asked to do it and she has been doing great.  She is embroidering her name on a piece of fabric that will become a built in apron on a little peasant top she requested and picked out the fabric for.  I tried to interest my girls in this before but they never took to it.  I guess June and Jessica are old enough to actually enjoy it now and Jillian wants to be like her big sisters. :)

John was a BIG helper in the kitchen last night.  He says he is practicing for when he has his own cafe.  We had roast beef, mashed taters, sweet potatoes and fresh green beans.  Actually, the family had that and I went to Mom’s Night Out through the local homeschool group.  We ate at Cracker Barrel.

Oh, see my almost 4 qts of sourdough starter?  YUM O!  I will make another batch of bread and then pancakes tomorrow!!

And yet another Jonah picture.

Jeshua, 

In an effort to show that homeschooling is a biblical mandate here we go.

There is the old standby:

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Then:

Deuteronomy 11:19
Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

And:

Deut 6:8-9

8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

And these were all the verses I could find that specifically said teach your children.

Deuteronomy 4:9

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Deuteronomy 4:10
Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Deuteronomy 11:19
Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Psalm 34:11
Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

Psalm 78:5
He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children,

I couldn’t find any that said “Send your children…”

What about being separate:

Ezra 9:1
[ Ezra's Prayer About Intermarriage ] After these things had been done, the leaders came to me and said, “The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the neighboring peoples with their detestable practices, like those of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians and Amorites.

Ezra 10:11
Now make confession to the LORD, the God of your fathers, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives.”

Nehemiah 9:2
Those of Israelite descent had separated themselves from all foreigners. They stood in their places and confessed their sins and the wickedness of their fathers.

Nehemiah 10:28
“The rest of the people—priests, Levites, gatekeepers, singers, temple servants and all who separated themselves from the neighboring peoples for the sake of the Law of God, together with their wives and all their sons and daughters who are able to understand-

2 Corinthians 6:17
“Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

Jeshua,

Seems to me that you might have difficulty doing what the scripture says if you are sending your kids away for 6-8 hours a day. What do you think God would say is the number one thing to teach our kids?

Matt 22:36″Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment.”

Right? So how many hours are you spending teaching your kids to love the Lord? Can it possibly balance out the 6-8 hours of anti-God propaganda your children get at school? And I’m not even accounting for the smut kids watch on TV for hours per day.

Now can I put the burden of proof on you? Where can you find scripture to support sending your child off to a non-religious institution to hang out with and befriend fornicators and sinners? I see nowhere in the Bible where we are told (as adults mind you) to go out and “Be friends and hang out with the unsaved.” I see “Go and make disciples of men.” How much more does that apply to our precious gifts that are a heritage from the Lord.

JMom, There is a button somewhere (of course I don’t have one) that says Pray for Jillian. In that picture she is holding a doll with a nifty knitter hat on that she made. She was 4yo at the time. A 6yo could definitely handle it. J

Ginger, I use VCO for her hair, yes. In between washings (we Curly Girl) I just slather it up and throw it in a loose hairbow. Like yesterday I looked and all of a sudden the wispies around her head were dry and sticking up. How in the world curly hair gets so dry is beyond me. So I applied the VCO again to the wispies and the ends. Of course then I thought that ends were too brittle and I trimmed them. Her hair looks perky again. I’ll probably wash and condition today and her curls will be beautiful like the movies. J I put it on her skin as well when we haven’t been taking out Cod Liver Oil and kefir. If I give her those things she doesn’t get dry skin. J

Barb, Why are you so offended by the word “Heathens”? 1Thess 4:5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; You know, people that are not saved. Mirriam Webster says 1 : an unconverted member of a people or nation that does not acknowledge the God of the Bible

Sophie, love that article. For those that missed it

Tests reveal high chemical levels in kids’ bodies

That’s exactly the stuff I was talking about.

Momanna, The colored pencils and goodies are always out where Donut can get them. Donut understands that he is not to touch them and if he does they are to be used at the table. This is where close tomato staking comes in. J Before he understood the rules he could at least understand that he is supposed to stay away from the blue table where we use the coloring stuff. If I am diligent about watching him we have never had a problem. Also you may want to make the olders be a little more responsible about where they allow the crayons/markers to go. There is no reason they can not police themselves regarding making sure the coloring stuff gets put back in the box. And if the baby comes near the table they need to watch the items that are their responsibility (coloring stuff) to make sure they don’t “walk away”. ;)

Amysconfections, Yes we still use Ambrotose daily. Our naturopath suggested vitamin B and D along with the vitamin IVs that we do (we will resume here in MO in November) that include, but are not limited to, Glutathione, Hydrogen Peroxide and Vitamin C.

Laura, the longies were made on needles. Sorry. ;) And yes I could close it with crochet but I want to do it the “right” way so there will be no seam showing. I did finally find a needle.

Comments

Oct. 23, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by debhmom3

Regarding recent discussions on why Christians should homeschool, I think you enjoy this http://christianmind.blogspot.com/2007/10/groothuis-on-impersonal-education.html
Have a great day.

Oct. 23, 2007 – Sonlight

Posted by Anonymous

How many cores of Sonlight are you doing?

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Oct. 23, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Victorious

You mention Germany here and in another post I remember you mentioning Turkey (I think it was Turkey) … are you a former military family or have you just traveled a lot? We are a former military family and we used to live in Germany, and the open windows (with the pretty window boxes and the duvets hanging there to air out) is one of my favorite memories.
Blessings ~ Diane W.

Oct. 23, 2007 – Fuzz

Posted by Victorious

BTW, I’m wondering if Jill’s hair will grow back the same as it was before. I’ve heard that hair can grow back a different color or texture after chemo. Is she excited about her “fuzz”?
Blessings ~ Diane

Oct. 23, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by MotherJoy

Thanks for the verses. I copied them, and will keep them on hand. I really enjoyed all of the “separate” verses.

Oct. 23, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

After not seeing Jillian with hair for so long, I think she would look like a very different person with hair. To me, her being bald is . . . well . . . her. I don’t notice it anymore in the pictures you post. But what cute fuzz. If I would her, I think I would form the habit of rubbing my head just so I could feel the soft fuzz growing back.

Oct. 23, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by anon

Thank you for versus; however, that doesn’t make your case that all Christians should homeschool. It’s just confirmation that you feel that you need a lot of hours to accomplish certain tasks. It certainly doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. And the fact that there are plenty of grounded, Christian public schooled children seems to support my belief.
On another note, I really enjoy seeing pics of your family and life happenings. I’m also very glad that your daughter is well :)

Oct. 24, 2007 – Yay for Jillie!!

Posted by tsukayama

So excited that Jillie is still cancer-free and growing fuzz!
I can’t wait to be able to do girly crafts with my dd… and the boys too, why not?
Thanks for the verses. Especially liked the “separate” list. :)

Oct. 24, 2007 – embroidery

Posted by Mrs. Mobunny from Rabbit Trails59

I’m so glad to see your girls doing embroidery. I love the old things I find at sales and from my mom, and I love the new things that today’s moms and daughters make. Tell them I said keep it up!!!

Oct. 25, 2007 – I love that fuzz shot…

Posted by stackeyha

It looks like she has a halo around her sweet little head.
And I love those verses…I hadn’t thought about the separation verses specifically…but you know what they are just as important in this society as the training verses…especially to the people who believe that “training is for dogs, not children”. It’s hard to argue that the Lord has NOT called us to be SEPARATE.
Anon…you said, “It certainly doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. And the fact that there are plenty of grounded, Christian public schooled children seems to support my belief.”
I would ask, “So YOUR core belief system is based on what??” Katie has shown where her core belief system is based on the bible…and I would say that MY core belief system is based on the bible…As in I believe the bible is the true and inerrant word of God and that it is to be taken literally unless it is using an actual, recognizable, metaphorical phrase, in which case you take it as the metaphore was meant. Is it possible that your core belief system is NOT based on the bible…or on it’s inerrancy…or at least this PORTION of your belief system?
Could you please site verses or even secular studies that corroborate your ‘gut feel’ that kids are better served in an institutional setting, be it Christian or otherwise? I would be honestly interested. Thank you, STACK.
Edited by stackeyha on Oct. 25, 2007 at 6:58 AM

Oct. 25, 2007 – Response to Christian name-calling

Posted by Barb

“Barb, Why are you so offended by the word “Heathens”? 1Thess 4:5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; You know, people that are not saved. Mirriam Webster says 1 : an unconverted member of a people or nation that does not acknowledge the God of the Bible”
“Heathen” is a term of derision, not merely a description.
If your religion tells you to deride people instead of to love them, go right ahead and use it.

Oct. 25, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anon

Stack,
My core belief is based on the Bible, as well. However, it is erroneous to pluck out Scriptures and try to make them fit beliefs that *you feel are Biblical. I know, because I used to be Quiverful and used all sorts of Scriptures to try and justify my belief system. When, in fact, there was nothing in Scripture that condemned the use of birth control. Just like the verses that Katy put up don’t support the idea that every Christian is commanded to homeschool. It’s simply not there.
We are called to be seperate; however, that doesn’t mean locking ourselves in our house and not be apart of this world, does it? Of course not. We are to be a light, if memory serves.
My children are taught at home to love Jesus and they are strong in their faith. So, we are doing what the Scriptures command. They’re also not taught secularism 6-7 hours a day at school. I’m not sure why some think it’s that way.
I also want to add that my children have brought home many “heathens” and possible “fornicators” and several of them have went to church with us. Praise be to God for Christians who are not afraid to love on others :)

Oct. 25, 2007 – Good post, Anon!

Posted by Janette

Thank you for expressing yourself so eloquently. You are a Christian that keeps the lights on! Love and peace to all, Janette

Oct. 25, 2007 – I’ve been reading through some of these comments…

Posted by LaurieBeth

I’m sorry and maybe this is out of line, but this is KATIE’S blog. Why are there people bothering to read this and then constantly arguing with her? She has a right to say WHATEVER she wants because again it is HER blog. All you posters who constantly give her grief go start your OWN blog!! She is allowed her opinion on her own blog…just as the grief-givers should be allowed on their OWN blog. Questions are one thing…but some of these comments are downright out of line.
BTW Katie…i have read your blog for awhile now (cannot remember where I first heard of it and you…taminaz maybe?) and yes, sometimes we do things differently and I respect you for that. However, I have my own blog where I write down my thoughts and feelings on God, husband, family & home. I enjoy hearing about your large family. I don’t normally post on any comments but felt the need to speak here. God Bless you for all you do to encourage us ladies.

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So I freaked out a bit when Jill woke up this morning crying and saying she can’t move to get out of bed because her neck hurts. Jeff canceled his appointment with the bulldozer man and headed to Branson to the ER. It seems you walk in with a bald kid and CT Scans are on the menu. Jeff requested one, we got one, it’s all clear. They did take blood and we will know in 48 hours if anything grows. In the meantime they have her on a broad spectrum antibiotic. They gave us the name of a pediatrician in Branson to follow up with so I will be calling her office on Tuesday to see what we are dealing with. If it’s not bacterial then out with the antibiotics and in with the kefir. Jill is still feeling a bit down because her lymph nodes under her jaw are swollen but the temp is normal tonight. We will take her to the chiropractor tomorrow and see if we can’t get things moving.

Do you know how good it feels to know your child is cancer free STILL? I imagine only a few of you do. Well, it feels pretty darn good and I’ve been wearing a smile since this afternoon.

We had fabulous potato soup for dinner. John made it almost entirely on his own. It is Jenna’s favorite.

Today was Saturday Science…only on Sunday.

You see that binky in Donut’s mouth?  We have been working for weeks at getting rid of those things.  Every time he shows up with a new one we tell him “I’ll give you a gummy bear if you throw it away.”  So he does but the next day…or two days later another appears.  How come we could never find one when he was screaming his head off?  Is that one of those secrets of the universe Susannah?

Anyways, see the pin floating on the water’s surface in the upper center?  That’s because the water has a “skin”.

And they dropped pennies in the cup carefully…ok, the twins did it not so carefully, to see the skin bulge.

I (almost) finished my first pair of longies. I have to finish the crotch but I can’t find ANY of the yarn needles I used to have. And I had a few. I dunno, this knitting thing is pretty fun. It is a great hobby in the car or a nice comfy recliner. Jason was getting nervous though because I promised the boys Civil War costumes and I have not been working diligently on them. He asked “Do you like knitting or sewing better?” Ha ha!! I told him sewing was still my first choice. :)  I am pleased with my first effort.  There is some rich dark purple yarn that is calling my name and being asked to be made into a soaker.  I must oblige.

The reason for the “lumpy” look is because the yarn was that thick and thin stuff that looks very much like natural fibers. When we were at the yarn store Jeff found some very nice alpaca yarn and he mentioned raising, spinning and dying yarn as a future cottage industry one of us could have. That would be fun, would it not?

For those of you on an Eyes of Wonder withdrawal here are two blogs that might help you over the hump.

http://rosylittlethings.typepad.com/

http://yarnstorm.blogs.com/knitblog/

Q&A

Gina, The house we are renting has a built in microwave. ;)  Jeff says perhaps a double boiler?

Barb,  Thanks for the encouragement to just visit the doc to set my mind at ease.  I am feeling better. :)

Jeshua, I will get to your question tomorrow.  Can anyone else think of scripture that backs up the idea of biblically mandated homeschooling?  I have a few but it is too late now to get into it.

Finally a good look at “The Chair”.  I did say how comfy it is right?  Is there a 12 step program for furniture obsession?  I am certain I am a better, happier, more peaceful, contented mother, wife, member of society when I am sitting in “The Chair”.  Might there be a chance for world peace?  Forget the peace treaties, give them all microfiber rocker/recliners.  How can you argue when you’ve got your feet up and laptop on your lap?  Apparently Topsy had a lapse of judgement and thought this was HER chair.  I’m sure that this mistake was rectified quickly.  Btw, did I mention that the cats are all getting fat?  I swear our cranky neighbors in AZ were poisoning them.  And then there were those suspicious BB pellets we kept finding in the yard.  So glad to be gone from the land of dust, heat, dead bermuda and feline hunting neighbors.

In other news:  Lina got a trim.  Look at the curlies!!  And that bowl has coconut oil in it.  I’ve not found anything that moisturizes like it.

Jenna put together a floor lamp.

John knit.

Josiah played with a car.  He had been outside but creamed his knee on something so he felt he should come in for a bit to lick his wounds.  According to this picture the knee was feeling much better.

Lina and Jillie colored.

And this kid will not stop with the requests for pictures.  He enjoys it so much that I end up enjoying it too.

Comments

Oct. 21, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

So glad to hear about the clean CT scan! That is awesome news! We will continue to pray for Jillian as she fights this current gunk.
At what age were your children able to make something with the knifty knitter? I am thinking of buying one for my 6 yo and wonder if it would be too difficult for her. I don’t knit at all.
My 2 yo still has his pacifier too. He calls it a bink. The other day, he was pretending to go hunting. He was all decked out in camoflauge with a bow in hand and a wooden “deer” to aim at. He looked at me and said, “I need my bink to hunt.” I am quite certain that hasn’t been on the list of needed hunting supplies before. LOL.
-formerly JMom at the shed

Oct. 21, 2007 – Coconut Oil?

Posted by regnig87

What do you use it for? Her skin, I’m guessing. She’s not black so certainly you don’t use it on her hair, right? I use it for my dd’s hair and it’s fantastic. What are all the great uses of coconut oil??
Ginger

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by debhmom3

It took forever to rid ourselves of pacifiers with our 3rd. It was the same situation, they must have been everywhere! Except when she was crying of course. :)
So thankful for the clean scan. I cannot imagine living with the stress of a child who had cancer. You do an amazing job.
Fun science stuff. I love science. I am totally with my kids wishing we could just do science all day, every day and skip the rest. :) But alas, where would science be with out math and how could we document our findings without art and English. Oh well. ;)

Oct. 22, 2007 – Tammee in MO

Posted by Anonymous

Biblical Reasons to Adopt
Luke 9:46-48
An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all – he is the greatest.”
Eph. 1:4-6
For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will –
to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
Psalm 127:3,5
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Psalm 68:5,6b
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.
Psalm 82:3
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Matt. 25:40
The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”
Romans 8:15
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Ephesians 1:5
Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.
James 2: 15-17
Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
Deuteronomy 10:18
He doth execute the judgment of the fatherless and widow, and loveth the stranger, in giving him food and raiment.
Hosea 14:3
…for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.

Oct. 22, 2007 – Praise God!

Posted by Jen (cloth_doll)

I’m so thankful to hear Jillian’s CT scan came back clear! I was burdened to pray for her this weekend! The one picture of her and Lina – I can see hair on Jill! Am I seeing that right?
I too would love to hear of all the wonderful uses for coconut oil!
God bless you!

Oct. 22, 2007 – Saturday

Posted by Michelle

Glad things turned out well for Jillie. I gasped my breath a bit when I first read your blog.
Oh, how hard is that loom knitter? My 10yds has been begging me to teach him to knit. I was wondering if it would be easier for him to start that way. Looks like John was enjoying it.
I had to laugh at your youngest though. What a cracker! It’s funny how your youngest too look so much like my little ones. I’ll have to type in myspace rrl so you can have a peek sometime. I’m new to this blogging thing. Can’t seem to figure how to put my pictures in the blog like yours are. If you want to search, my title is Blessed Beyond Measure.
Have you have my happy days like today.
Michelle

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Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by foxvalleyfamily

Praise the Lord that Jillie’s CT scan was clean – what wonderful news! (…And sorry to hear that you had to go through a ’scare’ like that! …BTDT lately…it’s no fun!)
Thank you , too, for your prayers! I really appreciate them!
Your chair looks wonderful!
If I owned something like that my DH would probably need coconut oil just to pry me out of it! ;-)
Blessings,
Michelle

Oct. 22, 2007 – Don’t worry…

Posted by ChristsInstrument

about the binky. :) I had one until I was 7, off and on. I would go to sleep with it and my parents would then take it away from me, but I seriously could not let go of it. One day I just didn’t need it anymore. Never gave me any teeth trouble, as I probably only sucked it for a max. of 45 mins – 1 hr each day. :)
Yay for binkies!
Sheila

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Love and blessings are just flowing through your home, how awesome. Just a quick note about breakfast. Haave you considered doing a crockpot of soup the might before, and then having that with your great bread. On a cold morning it is awesome. Also don’t have the sugar high/low some kids get from sugar in their first meal. I love thinking outside the box.AQlso be a great way to use your veggies. Just a thought. Leena

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by momanna98

Hi. I have been spending WAY too much time reading through your blogs and all the comments. :-)
Your chair looks just like mine, only new. I got mine when I was pregnant with my 2nd 6 years ago, and have been enjoying it ever since. :-)
Off the top of my head, I know Deut 6:7 and 11:19, “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” How can you possibly do that if you send them away all day? I know it has to do with Biblical laws and not the three R’s, but what’s more important to us as Christians?

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by momanna98

Oh, and I meant to ask, how on earth to you keep all those pencils and stuff safetly in their containers on the table??? How do you keep your 2 yo from getting them? How do you keep them off the floors? We have a huge writing utensil problem in our house. My 1 yo likes to color on the walls and my older kids have the dropsies.

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by amysconfections

Glad to hear her CT scan was normal. Do you still use the Ambrotose powder for her? Just wondering.

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Mommaofmany

I’m so glad to hear that Jillie is just sick with a cold. We prayed for her the last couple of days.
Looking forward to saurkraut! I have never actually eaten it before, let alone tried to make it!
Blessings
Momma

Oct. 22, 2007 – Tammee in MO

Posted by Anonymous

LOL! Sorry for previous post – Duh! Wrong file! That was biblical reasons to adopt – I will look for the other file.

Oct. 22, 2007 – Untitled Comment

Posted by Sophie

Katie, I’ve been following your blog for some time. (You’re a great writer, BTW.)
I know you have mentioned suspecting possible environmental causes for Jillie’s cancer. When I saw this article on CNN, I immediately thought of you. Scary. Your thoughts?
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/22/body.burden/index.html

Oct. 22, 2007 – Praise

Posted by momachasity

Oh Praise The LORD!!!!!
Whew… I am so thankful to hear that the scan was clear…
Everything after that just seemed brighter! :)
SO happy!!!
Love,
Chas

Oct. 22, 2007 – Loom knit longies??

Posted by HordeMomy

Did you purchase a loom knitting pattern for those longies? I’d assumed you meant needle knitting when you mentioned them before.
If you just need to seam the crotch together you can easily do that with crochet, I’d think?

Oct. 23, 2007 – Whew on the scans!

Posted by SusannahCox

I’m so happy for you! I hope Jillie is feeling better soon.
I never had more than 2 paci’s in the house at a time. So when we lost ‘em, they were lost for good! LOL! It’s the only way I can wean *myself* off them. Otherwise, I’m frantically searching the sofa cushions while the toddler screams.
Actually, I found one behind my bed the other week. Pudge’d been off it for months, so I tossed it before he could find it and experiment “hmmmm…does it taste good”?–right back into addiction. LOL!
Good for John on all that great cooking!

Oct. 23, 2007 – Hey!

Posted by SusannahCox

We have a hand-knit sweater (Mopsy size) made from that very yarn! Cool!

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